Post # 1
Im currently in a college program, where I am very close with the other 9 girls in there. Except for one girl.. who is very obnoxious, loud and just no one likes her. I feel very bad for her but she’s just very hard to get along with. We had a Christmas party at noon one day, she was the only one who got drunk and was laying on the floor talking to herself. My problem is the all the other girls are obviously invited to the wedding that’s on June 29th, we graduate the program June 7th. My thing is I do not want to invite her because I’m afraid of how she’s going to act, but I don’t think I could not invite her and she see it on social media and that would hurt her feelings. She’s probably going to ask if she’s coming or automatically think she is invited. I would never see her again, but I couldn’t imagine there being another wedding in the program and I was the ONLY one not invited. I just so scared of her drinking at the wedding and be obnoxious and very embarrassing in front of the other very conservative older guest. What should I do? Please help
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
If you don’t want her there, don’t invite her. Most likely after you graduate there’s no reason to speak to her again, so just delete her from social media and move on with your life.
Post # 3
brookeee16 : It might hurt her feelings a little bit, but quite honestly I would not give anyone a pity invite to my wedding, especially if I had good reason to worry about their behavior like you do.
If I were you I would try to not talk wedding with the other girls while around the obnoxious girl, hopefully she won’t ask if she’s invited but if she does you can either tell her you haven’t figured out the guest list yet, or tell her the truth that she wont be invited and use budget as an excuse.
You said you’ll never see her again, so honestly who cares if her feelings get hurt? I don’t agree with ever trying to purposely hurt someones feelings, even someone I’m not fond of but this is your wedding. Don’t invite someone you don’t like, that you’ll never see again, that might get drunk and cause a scene, just because you feel bad for them.
Post # 4
You genuinely do not like her and are never going to see her again. Why on earth *would* you invite her?
Sure, her feelings might be a bit hurt, but that’s part of life..perhaps it will make her question why people don’t like her very much. Either way, it’s not your problem. You can’t go through life making decisions based on whether other people might get their feelings hurt. Like, obviously, we should always try to avoid hurting people but that doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen. She’s a grown up. She’ll get over it.
With regard to the other girls in the program – I know you say you’re all close and all, but are you *really* close? Like, you’re pretty solidly sure you’re all still gonna be friends in a year or two? I look at this similarly to co-workers.. you might like people very much but that doesn’t necessarily mean that once you are no longer around each other every day out of obligation that you will maintain those relationships. If you don’t hang out with them regularly outside of school/work you probably aren’t actually friends and I’d be hesitant to invite them.
Post # 5
If you are never going to see her again, I’d not invite her.
I’m usually not in favour of “all but one” invites, but that mainly applies to people you are going to see/work with/etc again. If you aren’t going to see her again, then no worries.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada
You don’t owe this girl anything, especially not a pity invite.
Post # 7
Nope. Just invite people you want.
Post # 8
brookeee16 : If you aren’t planning on ever seeing this person again, why invite them? Just invite who you want 🙂