(Closed) To Invite or Not: non RSVPers

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sorry, you have to invite everyone to the wedding who was invited to the shower. To do otherwise is rude and may compromise your friendship, if you care about that. If they don’t rsvp to the wedding, then you can be a little proactive about contacting them to find out if they are coming, assuming you need to know for the caterer or something.

Post # 4
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sorry, they DID attend your shower or DIDN’T?

Either way unless you’ve had a major falling out you should invite everyone you invited to your shower to your wedding. 

Post # 5
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sometimes people do just forget to RSVP, which is why you see so many stories on here about tracking down RSVPs by calling/emailing after the due date. I’d give them the benefit of the doubt and invite them–if it was a mistake, then it’s really rude and uncalled for to not invite them, and even if they intentionally didn’t RSVP then you don’t want to stoop to their level and return rudeness.

Post # 6
9 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

My shower is <2 weeks away, and NONE of my fiance’s invitees have RSVPed. The shower hosts are frustrated and annoyed. And I totally get it. My fiance is calling to ask people “if he will see them briefly” after the shower… with the subtle tone that he doesn’t know what their RSVP is. And the shower is RSVP via phone, so there’s no getting lost in the mail.


Hopefully people will get the point before the wedding, which they MUST be invited to, that they need to RSVP.

Post # 7
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d say if they weren’T close friends it was probably bad taste to invite them to the shower actually.

Post # 8
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I forgot to RSVP for my friend baby shower 3 weeks ago.  It totally slipped my mind.  I remembered the day of as I was buying her present.   I apologized to her for not RSVP and told her I would just drop her present off and not eat since I wasn’t in the head count.  She said only 1 person RSVP and that I could come and stay.  I got there and there was about 25 people there.

I should’ve RSVP as soon as I got the invitation but I had so much going on.

Post # 9
8514 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@BrideLine:  Did the host chase up the RSVP’s? And if not why not? Maybe the people didn’t even recieve the invite? Were the invites sent out too early (often a problem with non rsvp’ers) or too late (so the invitee feeels like a B lister). There could be a million reasons but essentially the host should have chased up the RSVP.

Post # 11
8514 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@BrideLine:  “The host did track them down via facebook, and they still did not respond”

I still wouldn’t hold that against them. I have a facebook account but I am lucky to login more than 4 or 5 times a year. The host should have called the guests that didn’t RSVP to ensure they received the invite.


Post # 12
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in the same camp as everybody else. If they were invited to the shower they should be invited to the wedding. If they didn’t go to the shower they may be inclined to not go to your wedding though. 

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