(Closed) To invite or not to invite…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

why didn’t you make your guest list before choosing your venue?

Post # 4
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i say split the guest list evenly.  it certainly isn’t fair that your husband only gets like 10 people…  LOL which obviously you know…

make a list of people in order of how close you are to them…  and then pick the first 50 on the list.  If your future husband doesn’t fill up the other 50 then you can keep adding people to your side of the list:)

but i certainly wouldn’t invite and spend my hard earned money on people who wouldn’t appreciate it, or always have something negative to say anyhow.  They wont be happy if they aren’t invited, but it also sounds like they will have something to say about everything if they are invited so YOU wont be happy…  Just something to think about it

Ronney

 

Post # 6
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oh. In that case I guess I should have worded my question more- was it an option to pick a venue that would hold everyone that you wanted to invite?

Post # 8
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You are going to have to part with your original guest list and split your list down the middle if this is the venue you must have! Make an A and B list and send your invites early, that way if you get regrets, you can still invite other family members. Just stick to the 50 people that you must have and have your future husband do the same! You can definitely get away with inviting only the family you remain close with. 

Post # 9
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You need to decide what is more important, venue or sharing your day with everyone on your list.

Post # 12
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Our ceremony venue is also small (holds 80) and we had to figure out who to cut.  I did the same thing with our list, categorized.  Immediate family, Aunts/Uncles, Cousins, Children, and finally Friends and Friends children.  I don’t have any family woes, so I don’t have personal advice for you there; but I did have a cousin that felt similar to what you are saying who got married a while back.  She only invited who she wanted there, and there was never any backlash (it was her 2nd marriage, but I don’t think that matters).

Anywho… We ended up setting a concrete divider…stopped at Aunts/Uncles, but did open up invites to the ceremony for cousins that are spending money to fly in for the wedding (Everyone is invited to the reception).  We also are communicating, by word of mouth, to the bridal party members (friends), cousins that are attending from out of state, and close friends that are invited…no children, but not becuase we don’t like your kids…we just don’t have the space.

In a nutshell (sorry I tend to ramble), I thinking cutting the kids might be your easiest solution without worrying about drama.  But, you shouldn’t worry about other people on your day, if you would feel more comfortable without someone there, don’t invite them.

Post # 14
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SweetCheeks: Don’t give up a venue you love to please folks that you aren’t going to be heartbroken aren’t there for the ceremony.  That being said, if you feel you wouldn’t regret not having the venue, then change it.  But think it out.  It is totally YOUR day!

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