Post # 1
i have recently moved countries to be with my fiance.
I have made a few friends but they seems to only invite me to parties and not actually want to do anything personal with me. i have asked so many times to go dress shopping but there is always an excuse, so i end up doing it alone.
As there really the only friends i have, im not sure if i shud invite them? they are nice but why invite them when they cant even help me to find my dress an save me from looking like an idiot with a camera sending pics to my friend in my home land.
any feedback would be helpful.
Post # 3
Wow, I can see where this would be really discouraging. Don’t give up on these new friends yet though. They may just be inviting you to parties instead of one on one plans until they feel comfortable enough with you to make more intimate plans. Some people are just naturally shy with new friends and it takes a while for them to get comfortable on, say, a dress shopping trip. And definitely don’t feel like an idiot for sending pics to your friends back home, I’m sure they love feeling included even though you live farther away now! Hopefully these girls will come around soon, and if not, you’ll find better friends anyway!
Post # 4
But also, if your date is correct, you have a while before you need to figure out exactly who to invite.
Post # 5
Maybe you should invite them to do something else like go to dinner to get to know them better before you ask them to do dress shopping with you.
Post # 6
When do you normally start inviting? and planing like the hens night? as i dont even have a Maid/Matron of Honor here. so im doing it all on my lonesome.
plus im having to invite my family and all that so i need to give time for them to plan and organise themselves.
Post # 7
ive invited them heaps to come over and they decline, unless absolutely everyone in there group around 8 ppl can all come. if not then they decline, but i see them having girls night with fewer people than that.
i have known them for about 4 months now, so i havent just met them and asked them. ive asked them to just go normal shopping or movie night and all that but still no. they say ask us if u need any help at all. and i ask for help but they dont, its really strange.
Post # 8
are they all a close knit group? is that maybe why they don’t like being away from each other? Maybe its a thing they have. You could always ask them.
Invites I think don’t usually start till at least 4 months before the wedding? I started mine about 2 months before, because not everyone knows if they can make it out till that late anyway
Post # 9
Some people send save-the-dates as far as a year in advance, but even if you do send them, you don’t HAVE to send them to everyone…you could just send them to the people who have to travel! If the wedding is in the same country/city as someone, then there is no reason to send the invite more than 2 months in advance.
Post # 10
@aussie_norway: You can decide now who you absolutely 100% want to be there. You’d notify family and others who live far away soon about the details (through a personal message or STD). For the rest, just wait to say anything to them until much closer to the wedding. If you become close to them, then you can invite them to the wedding without reservation.
In the meantime you should keep meeting new people. Also, I know it might be disappointing, but it doesn’t sound like you can count on this new group to throw your pre-wedding parties for you. Maybe that’ll change, but you should give it some thought that it might not happen if you leave it up to them.
Post # 11
aussie_norway, I just wanted to say that I moved countries once and what you describe reminds me so much of my first years in my new home. People can be so weird and cliquish. My heart goes out to you. And you know, I’ve never, twenty years later, found good female friends here, so I’m in the same boat as you -going to try on dresses alone and how that feels. It’s so daunting I haven’t even done it yet.
Still, I do have a close knit group of people, so that will come in time.
For these folks, they may open up to you by the time the wedding rolls round, just see what happens. I agree with the other bees, just go with the flow for now until the time to send invitations comes out, and see where your friendship is then.
I’ve known a lot of people who have moved countries temporarily or permanently, and absolutely everyone has the same tales that you’re describing. You’re not alone. I think part of it, I don’t know, is that most people wouldn’t do something so adventurous/crazy and you are just on a different wavelength than they are. It’s what I’ve told myself over the years anyway, and it’s true that the people I’ve grown close to are all international – we understand eachother. Folks that follow more the beaten path, we don’t have so much in common.