(Closed) To invite or not to invite?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I invite him?

    Yes, but make sure SO doesn't get his hopes up

    No but brace for resentment

    Yes, he might pull through for his sons big day

    No, you don't want SO to be crushed by his dads absence

  • Post # 3
    2868 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would still invite him, but yeah, your SO can’t get his hopes up. It sounds like you both want him to be there – if the concerns were that he would show up high or something that’s different from a fear that he just won’t show. I know your SO is ‘used to it’ and may expect him to not show up, but hope still messes with your mind :-/  Hah I almost want to suggest you secretly invite him but obviously that’s not realistic. 

    Post # 4
    9125 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    My choice is not in the poll. I would say this is you SO’s decision, and recommend you abide by whatever he wants to do. Unless you’re concerned about the dad making a scene, arriving under the influence, etc. If those are valid concerns, then you should have some say and the two of you need to talk it out. But if your main concern is your SO’s feelings, let him make this call. I’m also the child of addicts and wish both of you well in your marriage and in life. Sincerely.

    Post # 6
    2868 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @Old-but-new-borrowed-and-blue:  Anytime 🙂 I’m a social worker, so I have at least some understanding of the struggles of addiction.  Wishing you the best!

    Post # 7
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Agree that this is something only your SO and you should decide. I would say no but as an outsider I have no right to influence a major decision that involves an important family member. 

    Post # 9
    11735 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Could you just invite him the week of the wedding? That way you can judge what kind of state he is in and if you’d like to invite him?

    Or, you guys could let him know you’re getting married and want him there but only if he is sober.

    Post # 10
    23589 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I totally agree that this is a decision that should come to you and your Fiance. But FWIW, yes, I believe that he should get an invite anyway, but that your Fiance should not get his hopes up!

    The topic ‘To invite or not to invite?’ is closed to new replies.

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