(Closed) To invite or not to invite…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
3080 posts
Sugar bee

Could you put up a poll? I’d vote NO! She sounds like someone who would happily suck the life out of you, instead of sharing in the joy, of your big day.

Post # 4
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You should invite those that will support you both in your marriage. If she cannot do that then why waste the money on her being there?

Post # 5
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

There’s pretty much no way you can tell one of your best friends that you’re not inviting him to your wedding because his wife is “awful” without consequences, ie ending the friendship. 

Post # 7
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

As things stand now I would say definitely no, you don’t need someone like that at your wedding. But, would it be possible to arrange a get-together with her and her husband before the invites go out? You could maybe gauge from that how your relationship might progress in the future, but also  if she says no to the get-together or it doesn’t go well you’ve got your answer and no one can say you didn’t try.

Post # 9
2569 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
jen1981:  nope….she probably would decline anyways because she does not like you. If she did decide to go she would probably just be drama. As she mentioned she will let you know when the time is right so if she hasn’t come forward yet to act like a grown ass adult the answer is no! She wouldn’t go to a wedding 8 months ago because you were there so is she going to ask your FH to uninvite you to your own wedding so she can go? 

Post # 11
3080 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
jen1981:  Since it says up above that you’re not getting married until July 2016, you have over a year before you have to finalize your guest list. Time will tell …

P.S. I know a toxic woman, like your FH’s friend’s wife. We finally had to write them both out of our lives, since the thought of spending time with her was more painful than the thought of not seeing him.

Post # 12
6586 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

If she’s not willing to have dinner or get to know you beforehand, then I can’t imagine inviting her.

Post # 13
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My theory is that if you have doubts about whether or not to invite someone, do not invite. After reading your post I have not changed my mind. Who cares if she expects to be invited? 

Post # 14
5 posts
  • Wedding: March 2016

View original reply
jen1981:  I am actually dealing with a similar situation & to answer briefly,  no! Your wedding day is about you and your FH not everyone else. If she’s been rude to you this whole time, why give her that satisfaction and allow her to decide whether or not she wants to be apart of your day. That luxury should be offered only to those who share in your happiness and support your marriage to your spouse. If her husband is a reasonable man, he probably already knows his wife feelings towards you and your relationship and should understand that inviting her may cause some unnecessary tension on YOUR day. Good luck!

Post # 15
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Um…NO!!! you have never met her, she has clearly been rude to you. she can expect an invite all she wants, she needs to realize her actions actually have concequncles. She refused to have a relationship with the two of you…you are not friends… And if the other friends ask why she wasn’t invited, its pretty easy and truthful to say that she has refused to meet you, caused issues in the past and you would feel uncomfortable meeting her for the first time at your wedding knowing she has issues with you. Also, you have the rest of your lives, AFTER THE WEDDING to get to know each other. 

 And why would your Fiance still consider her one of his best friends…she chose to take sides which is ok, but come on!??

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by SweetShe.

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