Post # 1
Ok hive, I need your advice!
We just got a STD for a wedding that is happening the day before ours from a couple whom we barely know. We know them through our good friend K, who is a groomsman in both this couple’s wedding and our wedding. We didn’t have them on our invite list, but now we are wondering: invite or don’t invite?
We’re not even sure why they invited us to their wedding; we are obviously not going because it’s the night before ours but we will still send a gift. And if we DID invite them, there’s a good chance they wouldn’t come to ours because it’s the day after THEIR wedding.
What should we do? Is it rude to not invite them? We didn’t invite all people whose weddings we have gone to in the past but did include those whose weddings we have gone to/are going to this year.
Post # 3
You don’t have to invite them. Especially if you aren’t close to the couple there’s no social pressure or peer pressure to invite them so if you don’t want to then don’t do it.
Post # 4
I think you can go either way. If you want to be extra generous, inviting them wouldn’t hurt. But if you don’t invite them def don’t feel guilty, especially if you are sending them a gift. Weddings aren’t just a party, they’re intimate and extremely expensive so people should never be offended about not getting an invite, esp. if they’re not close to you.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t invite them if you’re really uncertain why they invited you to theirs. I’m not fond of the “you HAVE to invite them because they invited you to yours” rule. I think it’s silly. I would consult your parents to be sure it’s not a huge deal if an invite doesn’t get sent their way. If it is, though, go ahead and send one. You know they won’t attend anyway. It seems like it’s not worth upsetting parents when you know they can’t come, right? 🙂 Sometimes parents are more concerned with the guest list, so that’s the only reason I bring that up.
Post # 6
I think it doesn’t hurt to invite them. It’s a pretty high probability that they’ll decline anyway since they will be getting married the day before. But, I also wouldn’t feel bad not inviting them.
Post # 7
I think it’s a little odd that they invited you, and I think if you choose not to invite them it won’t be a big deal. I mean, neither of you is going to be able to attend the others’ wedding, so if you want to send them an invite it probably wouldn’t matter, but don’t feel pressure to.
Post # 8
I think you should invite them, they will prolly not be able to make your wedding anyways, that way there are no hurt feelings and everyone will be happy!
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Maybe I’m a cynical person, but I’d read this as a give-me-a-gift invite because they know you can’t make it. I’d send regrets and a nice card if I received an invitation, but sending a gift would be very generous of you. I wouldn’t invite them if it wouldn’t have occurred to you to invite them anyway.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t invite them. At this point, I think it would like you invited them because they invited you. I say you send them a nice card or gift if you would like and continue on you way.
Post # 11
Thanks ladies. Fiance is going to try to find out via Groomsman K why we are even being invited in the first place; we’re not sure if it’s because the couple lives in NYC and is having a Seattle wedding and they are trying to fill the event space or if they are inviting everyone they know or what. We haven’t even sent out STD’s yet so it wouldn’t be a big deal to invite them, we just feel weird about it. I don’t even know if we would have gone to their wedding if it WASN’T the day before ours. I just would hate to be rude. My own mom doesn’t even know what I should do. She told me to “ask those nice girls on that website” 🙂
Post # 12
I wouldn’t invite them. Given the date of their wedding, they know you can’t come and you know they can’t come. If it ever comes up, you can just say you knew they’d be busy with their own wedding!
Having the groomsmen check in on it though is a good, in case it was some kind of mistake.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t invite them unless you are prepared that they MAY come.