(Closed) To Invite or Not to Invite?

posted 4 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Seeing as this woman broke her marriage vows and had an affair with her husband’s best friend, I would not be inviting her to anything.

Post # 3
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

llevinso:  Hell no. Do not invite her. 

Post # 4
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Nah — it’s not necessary to invite her.  

Post # 5
Hostess
8681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

llevinso:  Nope. Invite David, do not invite Janice. If anyone has a problem with it just explain you don’t feel comfortable inviting someone who fundamentally doesn’t believe in marraige to your wedding. You weren’t invited to hers. No one should force you to feel like this woman needs to be at yours.

Post # 6
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

llevinso:  I would say that ultimately this is your FI’s call, though personally I would not invite her. If you do invite her, then you will need to invite her SO, which, if she is still with David’s cousin, could be awkward. I think that you also need to be prepared for one or both of them declining the invitation, and so your Fiance also needs to be OK with David, who he is close to, potentially declining because of his decision to invite Janice, who he is not close to.

I would lay that out, and then let him make the final call, as, while you have said you have become closer to David, I don’t get the impression that you are super-close.

Post # 8
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

llevinso:  I would leave it to your Fiance to deal with; I think if you talk to his sister yourself things could get awkward, especially given your FIs change of heart. It might come across as though you are judging Janice, and that could potentially cause problems for your relationship with his sister.

If he does want to invite her though, he needs to cut someone given that your’re already needing to cut the list down. For me personally, the fact he has known her since he was 5 is meaningless; there are loads of people I’ve known since I was 5, and 99% of them did not get an invitation to our wedding…

I would probably just have an honest discussion with him and ask if he actually wants to invite her for himself; he needs to take his sister out of the equation because it is not her wedding; you guys should be inviting people YOU are close to, not people his siter is close to. If however he is prepared to cut someone from his list in order to invite her, then really that’s his choice and I would leave him to it given that Janice and David get on fine at public events and won’t cause a scene.

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