(Closed) To invite or not to invite a miserable, but significant, office manager?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think that if you can afford to, you should just bite the bullet and invite her and her husband. It will only come back to you in a good way. I think to me, the job security/possible promotion protection would be worth the cost of their dinner!

Post # 4
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d invite her… though she may not like you, she will probably be flattered that you think enough of her to invite her and it may soften her up.

Also, I doubt she’d come.

Post # 5
435 posts
Helper bee

I think I’d invite her.

Post # 6
7 posts
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’d invite her. What’s the worst that could happen if you did? Do you think she would show up to your wedding and try to ruin it? You’re more likely to cause bad blood by not inviting her. Then that would give her license (in her head) to be even more unpleasant towards you in the office. But by inviting her, YOU come off as the gracious one, and if she tries to create drama, she looks like the loser that can’t help but rain on someone else’s parade.

I’m not sure how big your wedding will be, but even if you only have like 80 people, you’re going to be so caught up in all of the rituals and excitement of the day that you will barely even notice her there. You won’t really get a chance to visit much with most of your guests. You’ll likely only get so far as a “hello, obnoxious OM! Thanks so much for coming today!” (and you should be pleasant and sweet, even if you don’t feel it). And then you’ll be right back to being swept up in all the festivities. You’ll barely even notice she’s there.

And if she did try to pull something stupid, just let a couple of people you trust know in advance that this woman can be a pest. Make sure they know who she is (maybe show them a picture of her). And then ask them to help you out by either politely and privately talking to her, or asking her to leave if it comes down to that, if she starts acting in a highly inappropriate manner on the day of the wedding. Ask them not to even tell you about it, but to just see that it “gets handled”. That way, you can enjoy your day, and if OMzilla decides to be a snake, you can have your mongooses (which eat snakes) ready to pounce. Smile

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