(Closed) To Invite or Not To Invite (sorry, it’s long)

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should she be invited and/or a bridesmaid?

    No, neither

    Yes, invitation but as guest only, not bridesmaid

    Yes, invitation & bridemaid to patch up friendship

    Helllllll No!

  • Post # 17
    74 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    WOW…I would say no both the MOH/BM and also no to the invite.  A part of bring a MOH/BM is to be there for you during planning and helping with whatever so I don’t think that she would be there for you if you really needed something wit hher history.  It also sounds like while you really do like her she’s not there for you like a true friend would be.  If she had some stressful/down times she could have at the very least let you know and from how you sound you’d have been okay with that.   But you definately deserve a better friend that her!   Good Luck!!  

    Whatever you decide just don’t look back and don’t stress too much over it.  Just enjoy your day!

    Post # 18
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Wow. The nerve! I would agree with everyone above – I like MissBoston’s response. Who would think they are invited to someone’s wedding that they haven’t spoken to (essentially) in four years.

    Post # 19
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I had a flakey friend like this and believe me it never changes!!!! Its like an abusive boyfriend.  The excuses and drama will never end.  Your safest bet and only if you genuinely like her as a human being is inviting her as a guest only .

    Clarify things immediately and be blunt with her regardless what you decide.  I guarantee you if you dont communicate with her ASAP as to what it is you ultimately decide, SHE WILL BUY HER PLANE TXT and SHE WILL SHOW UP. Then, having to deal with your wedding crasher is going to get even stickier.

    Good luck. Remember, control your situation. Dont let someone else call the shots either directly or indirectly.  Its your function.

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