(Closed) To invite, or not to invite… that is the question

posted 9 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i say send invites and let people decide for themselves – some people are just happy to receive the invite and are happy they were thought of and you can still have a party back home in ireland afterwards  🙂


Post # 5
2 posts
  • Wedding: December 2009

I dealt with the same issues when we decided to have a destination wedding. My grandma’s friend made a comment that it was “rude” to invite people who we knew would not attend because “it looks like you are just trying to get a gift out of them.”

We disagreed, because you can’t anticipate what people will or won’t attend. Leave it up to them to decide!

Post # 6
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Eloping nailed it… you may be surpirzes at who wants to attend… it’s up to them!  If it is an intimate gathering… FINE 🙂 big partay at home down the road, WIN WIN:)

Happy Planning!

Post # 7
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

we dealt with the geography / ability to travel issue by doing the following: small intimate wedding, followed by separate parties / get togethers in locales that were easy for our separate sides of extended family to get to. we invited everyone to the actual wedding as well but let them know that there was a smaller, local gathering at a different date. bit of a 3 ring circus b/c you’re coordinating multiple events, not just 1 but that’s how we got the small but inclusive wedding

Post # 8
47 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would invite everyone! You never know who might be wanting to take a vacation, or who would be willing to travel any distance just to be able to be there on your wedding day. You can’t know, and as much as they might think they can, your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law can’t know either. A wedding invitation says “You’re special to me, and I want you to share my special day.” So, if you and your fiance want your aunts and uncles to share your special day then by all means invite them. 

Post # 9
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We had the exact same issue…and went with your option #3: stick with intimate & let everyone you couldn’t invite know that there’s going to be a party at home later.  We have the added issue of having TWO home parties: one for his side in SF and one for mine in Hawaii, since we come from different parts of the country.  This helps the issue Ewil‘s grandmother brought up about looking present-grabby…if people aren’t invited to the wedding, they don’t feel the obligation to come/buy a present, but they are encouraged to celebrate which I think is the point of the reception (at home or destination) anyway. 

Post # 10
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Invite everyone. They are big boys and girls, and should be able to make that decision for themselves. Shouldn’t be this big of a deal, so don’t sweat it!

Post # 11
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Mr. JM & I are also having a destination wedding.  We decided to invite 130 people, we don’t know how many people will be able to make it, but no pressure.  His parents will then throw a party in his hometown afterwards for the other family and friends that didn’t make the list or were not able to go. 

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