- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
Briefly: FH & I are Irish, living in Canada. We had the usual wedding discussions and decided we’d both love a destination wedding. We’d planned on living back home in Ireland by the time a wedding was on the cards, but that was not to be. Since we have to travel anyway, and in an effort to keep the wedding small, we decided on a wedding in Spain, for immediate family only.
Since then, I’ve changed my mind and want my aunts & uncles there. I have close relationships with most of them and I know it would mean the world to my mother. I think most of them would come to Spain and they’d really make the whole day lots of fun.
FH’s parents were not thrilled about the destination wedding in the first place, but we got over that. We recently had a discussion with them about extending the guest list to include aunts and uncles and they have the following objections:
1) Their family is older, with many aunts/uncles in their 70’s.
2) Some have lost jobs & pensions in the downturn and they would not want to put them under financial pressure.
3) Future Father-In-Law basically said that we either want aunts & uncles there or we don’t, so if we do, we would be better off coming home. He’s not comfortable with inviting his side
Sorry for being so long winded – at last, here is my question (or questions):
– Should we just send invites and let everyone decide for themselves if they can come or not?
– Should we just invite my side (I think Future Father-In-Law & Future Mother-In-Law would be ok with this, but I’m not comfortable with it.. is not this the stuff of family fueds?)?
– Should we stick with the intimate wedding in Spain and then try and have some sort of party back in Ireland for everyone else? (Is this being present-grabby though?)
– Should we just stick to the original plan and slap me on the wrist for being so flighty in changing my mind?
Thanks for any advice. This is really killing me. There have been more than a few tears…