- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2017 - Wedgewood Tower Club
Hi bees! Fiance and I are in the throes of planning our wedding, and have encountered a bit of drama surrounding the invitation of one particular guest:
This girl has been a family friend of FI’s for over ten years – she’s slightly younger than us, and has been in contact with the family through her mother’s friendship with my Future Mother-In-Law. Neither Fiance nor his brothers have really had lasting long-term relationships until we started dating, so for the longest time, she was sort of the “go-to girl” in the family (since Fiance has only brothers).
Then things started to change: the friendship between Future Mother-In-Law and this girl’s mom soured and eventually ceased to exist (blocking each other on social media, no contact whatsoever), but the girl was still in regular contact with the four of us (FI, his two brothers, and myself); however, her true colors have really been emerging in the last year and a half. She constantly makes a spectacle of herself, makes any conversation not about her…about her, and has generally been an obnoxious individual.
The breaking point came several weeks ago for me – mutual acquaintances of ours were being polite and asking how the wedding planning was going, and before I could even respond, she interjects “Well, I better get a plus one”. This really upset me because my parents have been kind enough to pick up the entire tab for our wedding (total shock – we were expecting to elope so we could pay for everything ourselves), and people we actually like aren’t going to make the cut in order for us to stay within the budget.
Fiance is ambivalent to all of this. He doesn’t like her, but wouldn’t mind if she showed up as a plus one. My parents are providing a very nice evening (a delicious dinner and an open bar for the entire night), and not only do I not want to reward her entitled attitude by allowing her to partake in it, but I actually do not like her and would prefer to fill that seat with someone I really do like. My parents have agreed with me, and have said that I don’t have to invite anybody I don’t genuinely want there.
Where it gets tricky: she’s moving in with FI’s two younger brothers. Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law are pushing me to invite her because it would be “awkward” for the two brothers to go and not her. However, they’re not contributing anything to the wedding, nor have they offered to pay for her seat. As far as I’m concerned: the ones with the money get the most say. If they paid for her seat, I’d be much less stubborn.
So it appears I’ve reached an impasse. I know what I want to do – both Fiance and my parents support me.
What would you do?