Post # 1
I grew up with a core group of my parents friends. There are 3 couples in particular (around my parents age), all their kids (all about my age). It’s more like a familial relationship of aunts/uncles/cousins.
I plan to invite all 3 of the couples (of aunt/uncles), and had all of the ‘cousins’ and their spouses on the list – but am now rethinking inviting two of the ‘cousins’ (from the same family). The ironic thing is that at one point in time (10+ years ago), I was very close to both of them. Now, however, we have completely lost touch and I really don’t see that changing in any way. Plus, it doesn’t help that one of them is best friends with my ex-BF and I cringe at the thought of the cousin relaying details of the wedding to the exBF.
I know it will be very hurtful to the parents of these two siblings to see other ‘cousins’ there and know their own kids were not invited.
I feel like I can’t not invite them, even though it’s my preference to do so. It doesn’t help that these two cousin’s have 5 young kids between them, either!
Am I as stuck as I feel?
Post # 3
Wow that is hard. I’d say you probably can’t invite the parents and not the children. I’d also say you probably can’t invite some of the parents but not all of them (if they still talk). So you might have a package deal on your hands 🙁 Are you allowing kids generally? Could you make a no-kids-under-x-years rule and not invite the kids?
Post # 4
Well if you can, I would. It’s possible since you haven’t talked to them in so long, that they won’t come anyway. It would be one thing if you guys were never close, but since you have a shared history with them… my gut says it’s the right thing to do.
Post # 5
I’m inviting 3 sets of my parents’ friends, but none of their children. It does help that none of them live locally (in fact 2 of them are in Europe) and while we were all closer when we were young, I haven’t seen or spoken to those girls for years (Facebook doesn’t count). I wouldn’t expect to be invited to their weddings, and I think they (and their parents) will be ok with them not being invited. Maybe you could talk to your parents about it to see what they think?
Post # 6
What do your parents think of this? Have you talked to them about it? I am curious to see hear their opinion, and that may make up your mind for you.
Post # 7
I haven’t talked to my mom about it, but I’ll post what she says. I’m paying for it all, so I’m guessing she’d say don’t invite them. I was invited to both of their weddings. For one (almost 20 years ago), I was the guest book attendant. The other wedding was about 6 years ago and all my siblings were invited (my mom actually sat at the family table with the groom’s parents).
The more I’m thinking this through out loud, the more I think I’m obligated to invite them (since I’m inviting the other ‘cousins’). Stay tuned for mom’s input!