(Closed) To Invite or to Not to…. (LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

First, sorry about all this drama. It totally sucks, I also have a mean grandma who likes to make cutting comments. She also didn’t attend my college graduation because her toe hurt but went shopping that day instead. If you don’t invite them it will most likely cause more drama and cause them to be even more mean to you. IF you do invite them they will probably talk about you at your own wedding. My guess is that you won’t really have to interact with them on your wedding day. You’ll be so busy greeting guests, cutting the cake, dancing, taking pictures, etc. that you really shouldn’t need to have much interaction with them. I do think that your dad should have a very serious talk with his family members about their behavior and what is and is not appropriate at the wedding. If they can’t agree to behave appropriately then they don’t get invited.

Post # 4
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I were you I wouldn’t invite them. They don’t care about your feelings, they obviously wouldn’t be happy for you, there is no reason they should be there. 

Post # 5
Member
7385 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

It may do more harm than good to not invite them.  You will be so occupied that day that you will hardly notice them… hopefully!

Post # 7
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m not inviting one of my sisters to my wedding. While it might cause drama for you, I’m a big supporter of the “invite only those people you genuinely want to be there” strategy.

Post # 8
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

In that case, I’d say don’t invite them. Just be prepared to explain your reasons to your dad. Also, who’s paying? I’m not trying to be nosy but if your dad is paying for part of the wedding then he has some room to insist they are invited. I’m all for you doing what you feel best doing, just be prepared to defend your actions. We will all support you regardless, I can’t say how your family will react. Also, how does your Fiance feel? I also think that you should talk to your Fiance about defending you in case you do have to be around these people again. The two of you are a team and if they attack you, they are also attacking him.

Post # 10
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sounds settled then. 😀 Don’t invite them and party it up at your wedding!

Post # 11
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

I fully support you inviting only those who love and support you to your wedding.  With that said, should you exclude some family members from the event, just be aware that family issues could get messy and I can’t even imagine how your father will respond, as he has not protected you from his side in the past.

I’m so glad you have the support of your Fiance, mom and brother.  Just be prepared for what may come.  Your father’s side doesn’t sound like loving, caring people and they could get nasty.

Do what you need to do to have the happy, beautiful wedding of your dreams.  You deserve it.

And, I commend you for the work you are doing in school and with your job.  You have a lot going on in, addition to planning for your wedding.  I wish you all the best.

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