(Closed) To invite these kids or to not invite them?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee

I think if you have invited other family kids, you cant really not invite your cousin Dave’s kids.  Itd be different if you were only inviting your nieces and nephews but youve already invited another cousins kids.  Id say to invite Dave’s kids and deal with Adam’s if and when he asks about it.  But if he does ask, itd be appropriate to invite them as well. 

Post # 4
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Oh goodness, the guest list just makes me crazy.

I think you have to make a standard rule and stick to it – though I do believe the exception is having kids in the wedding itself.  Perhaps to make this ok, you could have an age 13 and up rule or something.  Then the older kids would be able to come but you wouldn’t have little kids (again, with the exception of those in the bridal party).  I am on the “all or none” side of things, simply because then it seems fair across the board.  You have to look at the kids of all your guests though in order to see what rule you are going to go with.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
46415 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think there is a big difference between inviting 14 and 16 year olds, and inviting 5,7, and 9 yr olds. The teenagers are young adults and as so can be expected to both behave well and fit in with the adults at the ceremony and reception.

The younger children don’t count as “inviting children”. They are members of the wedding party.

I do think, however, that it is important to develop some criteria and then stick to it to avoid hurt feelings and family dynamic issues.

In this case, I agree with the previous suggestion of older than 13. Does this leave you open to other cousins, nephews, nieces etc feeling slighted?

Post # 8
Member
46415 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry, I forgot to addresss the issue of the 3 yr old cousins.

When it comes down to it, it’s your wedding and you can invite whoever you want.

It does cause hurt feelings however when some young children are invited and not others.

 

Post # 10
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee

Im not sure if Adam would.  If we didnt invite kids I have family that would ask in a heartbeat and other family who would never ask because they dont want to ruffle any feathers.  However, you have barely seen him in 5 years and are close to your other family so its really your call.  I had one cousin I havent seen in so many years I cant remember, that I didnt invite her kids (but I also knew she wouldnt be able to make it the wedding).  All our other cousins and family were invited with kids.  Do you even think Adam will come if you havent seen him in so many years?  Maybe talk to your parents and see what they think if you havent already mailed the invitations.

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