(Closed) To Kick Out Of Wedding Or Not

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Take my word that you’ll regret it if you let her stay. Uninvite her.

Post # 4
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Etiquette would distact that you don’t kick people out of your wedding party. Don’t know how popular that response is here, but short of someone sleeping with your fiance or legit safety concerns you really shouldn’t be kicking or dropping people from your wedding party. 

Post # 5
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

i say, who gives a crap about etiquette. things change, people change. you are only having 1 wedding, so it should be exactly how you want and with the people you want.

it will be a tough convo- i don’t even know how you would go about it, but it’s your wedding so go ahead and toss her out!

Post # 6
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Lol i so agree with relaxedaboutit!!! Ditto to the max!

Post # 7
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree with relaxed.  There comes a time where you have to what’s best for you even if it’s “taboo”.  You have so many other things to be stressed about, you certainly don’t want to have to worry about her behavior too.

Post # 8
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

totally agree with relaxed – its your wedding. It doesnt sound like you want her as a friend anyway so why put yourself through the stress. It might be a crappy 5 minute converstation but it will be months of less stress worrying about it.

Post # 9
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I used to have a friend similar to yours, luckily our friendship dissolved well before I met my fiance. Although she invited me to her wedding (I didn’t attend, I felt it would be fake for me to be there) I am not inviting her to mine. It is hard, we were friends since gradeschool, but people do change, and not always for the better. I don’t have any suggestions for a tactful way to tell her you don’t want her as your bridesmaid, but if she truly does have problems with pills and alcohol I wouldn’t trust her to behave respectfully at your wedding.

Post # 10
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Do it. I kicked 2 bridesmaids out and was SO happy with my decision on my wedding day. If you think she is going to bring drama then it’s really not worth it.

Post # 11
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Quite frankly? Gotta agree with @relaxedabout it on this one: It’s your wedding, forget the etiquette and do what is best for you! For me personally, I don’t want to look at pictures a year, 5 years, 10 years down the line and think “wow, I wish I hadn’t asked her to be in the wedding.” Do what you need to do to make yourself and your Fiance happy.

Post # 12
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sent from my Android

Post # 13
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It seems that kicking her out of the wedding party is only putting a bandaid on the situation; the main problem is that this person is currently in your life by default and you don’t want her there any longer, right? So, your discussion with her might instead be that you need to go your separate ways as people and, subsequently, she is no longer in your wedding party. Tell her you made a mistake and are sorry but this is how you feel. You wish her well and hope she gets help but impending doom should not be a part of your wedding day…or your life. Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@SBrosnan: Good luck! It will be awkward, but hopefully it solves the situation 🙂 

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