(Closed) To know or not to know, that is the question

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Do you think the wait is easier if you know he has the ring ?
    Yes : (42 votes)
    42 %
    No : (57 votes)
    58 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I was involved in picking my ring so I knew it was coming. I was expecting in a month to get it but he surprised me earlier than I expected. Im so happy I got to be involved with the ring however since we ended up perfectly untraditional.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I went with yes, but I think it really depends on the person, and how long you’ve been waiting. I hate to say it, but it was getting to where I was a bit disappointed any time a special occasion passed and he didn’t propose.  We had some talks, and it turned out he didn’t even have the ring-bummer. We went ring shopping together and found it! Two weeks later we went back, and he payed the down payment. So, he doesn’t technically have it yet, but I know it’ll be happening soon since he’s making payments. After he put that money down, it was like a calm washed over me. I no longer feel like I’m pressuring him any time wedding talk comes up [and it does frequently], and now he seems a bit more excited too. So for me, it made the wait much easier knowing it’s just a matter of time versus wondering if it will ever happen.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Boyfriend or Best Friend bought a ring yesterday! Well, we went and picked out a diamond together and a setting, and it’s going to be made for us this week. In a way it’s kind of driving me crazy, because I know it’s going to be gorgeous and I just want the ring! I almost think it’s going to be harder to wait for the official presentation of the ring than it was to wait to go ring shopping! Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have decided we are not going to announce our engagement (or call each other fiance/e) or start planning until he gives me the ring. I just want to start planning already and shout out from the rooftops that I have a wonderful, loving fiance! I’m hoping it won’t take him too long to propose…

    Post # 6
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Before we had a ring, I would have said that it’s better to have one so then you know it’s coming. But now that he has one, it’s even harder because every proposal opportunity that passes is almost painful. You just wonder why he isn’t doing it all the time. It’s torture! 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    My Darling Husband wanted me to not know a single thing about my ring, and well he left the blue nile order confirmation up on his computer and I saw it…soooo commence ninja style investigation. I came up empty. It drove me NUTS!! After 4 months of waiting I blurted out that I’d seen the confirmaiton page and he just laughed and said that isn’t it …..and some other weird cryptic excuse. So a total of 8 months later he FINALLY proposed. I was in the same boat as you, all I knew was he was going to do it *some* time this year. So knowing he had the ring all along did not help me one bit. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m going with yes. I have a timeline but until he lays down some cold harsh cash nothing is real to me.

    Post # 9
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    waiting is waiting to me. Either way until he asks I’m still waiting. Not that I haven’t asked him a hundred different questions trying to figure out if he has one yet. He won’t budge with any insider info.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2408 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted no. I have a general timeline and while I know he hasn’t bought the ring yet (he’s waiting until we’re in the same state first), I’m more at ease about things than I would be if I knew he had the ring. Him having the ring signifies that the proposal is near and that would drive me crazy. Honestly, I hope I never find out he has the ring before he proposes!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    People who responded to this whose SO has not yet bought the ring can’t really respond because they can’t relate. Just saying…when I was on the other side of things (when SO had not bought the ring), I too thought that once he had the ring, things would be easier. Well, guess what? They are NOT!  In fact, things are much more nerve-racking, the anticipation is more real and it becomes literally all you can think about, and you literally drive yourself crazy! Ring or no ring, I think having a timeline is the only thing that makes waiting easier.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee

    This is a tough one. I replied with yes because I know he’s going to do it soon as he wants to surprise me; so there is not question of whether or not he’s going to ask me to marry him; which was a problem for a while in our 6.5 year relationship.

    BUT it is hard, now after we have picked out my ring because at every occasion, nice dinner or weekend I am expecting it to happen, and it doesn’t, and I get saddened with dissapointment. I think either way it’s hard, depending on your personality and relationship. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    4124 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    My Dad spilled the beans that SO is planning to propose.  I wish I didn’t know a thing.  But then, I wouldn’t have found WB and that would be sad…

    Post # 14
    Member
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I voted that it is easier to know… because we are in the process of designing a ring and I feel a lot more at ease now that I know things are moving forward. I was quite anxious when it felt like nothing was happening! BUt it is still hard becaues you know it will be soon but you are always on the look out!

    Post # 15
    Member
    9647 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    i think it was almost equal for me, but slightly harder after he got the ring, he got it just before christmas, and i knew it was going to be in the first three months of this year. and i knew it would be a significant date for us, there were only three dates i could think of: our 3 year anniversary (the day i was hoping he would and he did! – January 19), Valentine’s Day, or his birthday (19th March). i was still going nuts for the month between when he got it and when he proposed!

    Post # 16
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee

    i thought by going ring shopping together would ease the feeling that we are moving in the right direction with our relationship and it did. BUT afterward, months went by and I was kept in the dark because he wanted to surprise me… Let me tell you it was torture because now its like well does he have the ring yet??!! So a few weeks ago, he hinted that someone was working on it then last night, he hinted again that my ring is in the process of being made.  He knows me too well. I like surprises but this is something that i’ve been waiting for ahwile now.  I’m not sure if i felt relieved to hear updates but i def feel the anxiety because now it’s going to be when will it happen.

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