(Closed) To look first, or not to first look

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: Did you/will you be doing a first look?

    Yes!

    No!

  • Post # 31
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My husband and I did a first look and I am SO glad that we did. I knew that we’d be doing a first look from the very beginning because logistically it just made so much more sense for us. I wanted to spend as much time with our guests as possible and I also just wanted to enjoy the awesome party that I’d planned. 

    Seeing my SO before the ceremony didn’t make seeing each other at the alter any less exciting or special. I saw my husband for hours before the ceremony and was with him right up until he left to walk his mom down the aisle and I still got crazy butterflies seeing him for the first time at the end of aisle. My walk down the aisle is kind of a blur honestly because I was so emotional and keyed up which makes me extra glad that it wasn’t our “first look.” I’d hate to have such hazy memories of it. 

    Seeing him beforehand allowed me to fully process the moment. We had a lot of time to kiss/cry/hug/what-have-you without feeling rushed which was exactly what I wanted (and needed!). 

    Go with your gut and choose what works for you guys. Your wedding day is going to be amazing either way! 

     

    Post # 32
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee

    Ok I’m sorry but those “kissing through the door” and blindfolded photos are ridiculous.  That’s what I would think if any of my friends were to do them, too.

    We are doing a first look and pictures before, and let me tell you – my photographer was grateful when I told her.  She said they never get comparable photography when they’re rushed after a ceremony.  

    Also, think about it – do you want to keep your guests waiting that long?

    Post # 33
    Member
    1355 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Modern, Classic, Fun

    We’re planning to do a first look and at first I was like no way! (It was my FH’s idea) but now I love the idea. For one, you get to capture an incredibly private and special moment where you see each other for the first time without the nerves of walking down the aisle and having everyone’s eyes on you. And second, you can take almost all of your portrait and wedding party pictures before the ceremony, so you can actually enjoy your cocktail hour — eat, drink and greet all your guests! I think it is a big DO!

    Post # 34
    Member
    1178 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    View original reply
    Chaitea:  We’re going to do a first look. We like the idea of that first moment being just us. A calm before the storm if you will. I don’t think it takes too much away from the walk down the aisle because you still have all your guests there and it’s still a big entrance/moment.

    We also love that we can wrap up pictures earlier and get into our reception. We have a LOT of guests coming in from out of town and spending as much time with them as possibly has been a priority. We traveled 7 hrs for my friends wedding and it took them over an hour and a half to show up to the reception bc they had pictures and a private dinner. I’m sure that was nice for them, but after their entrance and the first dances and cake cutting, etc… it seemed like it was all ending. 

    But really, I just want that moment to be a calm, intimate thing just between us. I can get shy in large groups and I worry about how things will work out and he has a way of calming me down and making me feel like everything is ok and everything will work out. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    1519 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    We’re doing a first look for logistics and I think it will be nice to have a few moments to ourselves before the craziness of the day begins. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee

    DH and I did a first look and it was my favorite part of the wedding day! Plus it got the nerves out so we could really enjoy our ceremony.

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t agree that it’s rude to leave the guests waiting. If ceremony and reception are in the same location, maybe it’d be more of an issue but most weddings I have been to there is about 3 hrs between and I appreciate that time to relax, make my way to reception slowly go for drinks or snacks with other guests and sometimes even go home. As a guest I understand that the bride and groom and bridal party will want to spend some time together, after, it’s their day. 

    i think when making this decision op, think about yourself and what you want. Don’t worry abkut guests waiting around if it’s what you want to do. Plus it’s much less rushed for photos after the ceremony than before, too. we got 2/3 hrs as opposed to what, 1/2hr-hr before ceremony plus were able to have them with our bridal party also. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee

    Ps if you think you will cry during a first look, nLe sure you have touch ups ready otherwise you’ll have a makeup stained face walking down the isle :p

    Post # 39
    Member
    7318 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    The only reason the “first look” became a thing was for photographers to get people to take the photos before the ceremony instead of after. There have always been people willing to take photos before the ceremony, but calling it a “first look” instead of a time saver makes it trendy and new.

    We did not do a first look, nor would I ever. The look on his face seeing me for the first time was priceless, and while it may have been more comfortable and private to see each other beforehand, I wanted the heightened emotion that seeing me with the aisle and the music and the people standing would bring. A first look, while right for some people, just cannot achieve the same feeling.

    I intended to only be married once. Convenience just simply wasn’t enough of a reason for us to do it. Our photographer took all the solo bride and groom photos, all the bridesmaids and groomsmen photos and solo pictures with parents before the ceremony. Taking the rest after the wedding wasn’t that big a deal, IMO. That’s what a cocktail hour at a wedding is for, if you ask me!

    Post # 40
    Member
    2120 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    We are doing a first look. I think the photos are so intimate and lovely, and it’s nice to have a little bit of alone time right before you get married. I joke with my fiance that I don’t think he’s going to run away after seeing me (part of the tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding, lol)! Also, he’s suuuuper emotional so I have a feeling he’s going to cry both times he sees me for the first time.

    Post # 41
    Member
    1083 posts
    Bumble bee

    We did a first look.

    best part of the wedding. He even became teary eyed. He would not have let those years stream in public, that’s just the type of guy he is.

    i loved that I was able to share some special words and compliments that would not have been possible in front of others or the alter 

    Post # 42
    Member
    9578 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    We are not doing one, we really care about saving that moment for the aisle. If you will be an anxiety filled mess if you don’t do it then have one, but for us saving the first look for the aisle was worth skipping cocktail hour for. We wanted that moment to be apart of our ceremony .

    Were doing all other pics before and after while our guests are snacking well be romping about basking in our newlywed glow at sunset. I’ve done it as a bm at other weddings and for those pics, everyone is on such a blissful high coming straight from the ceremony. 

    i think photographers push the first look because logistically it’s more convenient, but I find the photos to looked forced. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    We’re doing a first look and I’m so excited about it. We both agreed not to at first but we thought more about it and we love the idea of spending the entire day together and not just the ceremony/reception. I know the entire day will be SO special and seeing each other before the actual ceremony can’t possibly take away from how amazing it will be to see each other down the aisle.  On top of that, all the amazing photos, less stress, and we can enjoy our entire wedding including cocktail hour!

    30 seconds of surprise down the aisle

    OR

    2 extra hours of amazing photos, more time with him and an extra hour of enjoying time with guests.

    It was a no brainier after we thought about it! Done and done! 🙂 

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  jaylynn.
    Post # 44
    Member
    185 posts
    Blushing bee

    I agree with PP. We orginially were extremely against a first look. Moreso my Fiance because he did want the first time to see me to be at the ceremony. But we’re not getting married in a church and our ceremony is at 5:30, cocktail hour at 6 receptions at 7. We would miss our entire cocktail to take pictures (remember you’d have to pull your wedding party out too to take picture so they would essentially miss out on a lot of the cocktail hour too). Our photographer and videographer really broke it down for us and said if we chose not to do a first look, we would lose out on a lot of pictures and great moments we could have potientally captured with more time. Also, we would have only been together a total of 5 1/2 hours on our wedding day if we didnt do a first look which when actually thinking about it, wasn’t a lot of time at all. And financially, with all the money were spending on photography, reception, etc, we didn’t want to sell ourselves short on everything we could experience on our day and rush to fit everything in. So now we get more time together the day of, will get SO many more pictures and not miss out on any of the yummy food we’re paying for at cocktail hour. I think a huge factor is your timeline/location of your ceremony and reception. If you have some time inbetween, you don’t need a first look if you don’t want one, but if you don’t, I absolutely wouldn’t rule it out.

    Post # 45
    Member
    1355 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Modern, Classic, Fun

    View original reply
    Mrs.B.2014:  stroudsmoor!! I grew up about 5 minutes away from there! Beautiful pictures 🙂

    The topic ‘To look first, or not to first look’ is closed to new replies.

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