(Closed) To lose weight or not to lose weight, that is the question…

posted 7 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 2
Member
243 posts
Helper bee

Maybe you should just aim to be living a healthier lifestyle by your wedding. Or set a fitness goal like you want to be able to do a marathon after your wedding. 

Post # 3
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think everyone should try to be at a healthy weight. I think it would be great for you to join a gym and try a healthier lifestyle. 

Saying you might not like your new body in the dress seems like a cop out to me. Nobody likes dieting or pushing themselves at the gym, but they do it for the results. 

Idk. It seems rare that anyone who lost a significant amount of weight (who needed to) wouldn’t like their body transformation. 

Post # 4
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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HonoraryNerd:  I loved my dress when I bought it. Everything about it was absolutely perfect. It was a size 18W. By a couple months before my wedding, I lost 50 pounds and was down to a size 12 which was too drastic for alterations. I was worried about it until I tried on new dresses and fell in love with 2 new ones and had a hard time picking which one I wanted. I think you are going to feel so good about yourself and your body if you lose the weight that the dress is only going to look better. When I tried on those dresses, I couldnt even believe that was my body in them because I looked so much better than before.

Post # 5
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lubeznik Center for the Arts

If you like yourself the way you are, and are happy with yourself, don’t feel pressured to change.

If you wish you were a bit thinner, and think that you’d be happier under 200, then try to lose it.

It’s all about your happiness and health. 

Post # 6
Member
7112 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would take the wedding out of the equation. If you want to be healthier – join a gym and tr eating better. But do it to be healthy. And I’m sure you’ll be beautiful in your dress, even if you lose some weight and have to have it taken in!

Post # 7
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Being healthy is way more important than the way your dress looks right now! You are getting WAY ahead of yourself by thinking that you will lose so much that it won’t be saved. The answer is DO lose weight, do it to be healthy, which, I PROMISE, will lead to feeling even more beautiful in whichever dress you end up picking. Good luck!!!!

Post # 8
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

if a doctor has told you that you are overweight, you should strive to become a healthy weight so that you will live a longer, better quality life. The wedding is not really important. 

Post # 10
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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HonoraryNerd:  I lost over 50 pounds in the 18 months before my wedding. From a US size 12ish (AU size 14-16) to a US size 4-6. I didn’t lose it for the wedding per se because I had already lost a good chunk of the weight when I got engaged but certainly the fact that an engagement/wedding was looming was in my mind. I lost it primarily for looks because I was already healthy in my mind – I went to gym everyday and I didn’t eat that badly. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that after losing the weight my fitness has gone to new levels, my knees are so much better etc. I do not feel that I no longer look like myself in photos or anything like that. I’m really happy with how I look in the pics, much more so than I would have been before.  I still have boobs and hips, my head looks normal size etc. That’s me though, I hated myself in photos prior.

 

ETA – getting obsessed with your weight though when loosing weight is a real risk and certainly I ended up going down this path. The best thing I did in the end was,after I had lost most of what I wanted, to stop weighing myself and just go by measurements every month or so and the fit of my clothes. Otherwise small and natural fluctations can drive you crazy.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by Lollybags.
Post # 11
Member
6835 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

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HonoraryNerd:  I don’t mean to be rude, but getting to a healthy weight is ALWAYS a healthy decision. It’s not only about looks, it’s about improving current quality of life and health, and prognostics for the the future. 

That said, I’m sure you look gorgeous in your current dress and would also look gorgeous with it trimmed down a few sizes.

I would definitely think both the health benefits and aesthetic benefits of losing weight would vastly outweigh loose skin or stretched tattoos, etc. Go for it!

Post # 12
Member
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

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HonoraryNerd:  My advice would be to find out what the recommended healthy weight range is for your height (i.e. your BMI) and aim for that. Speak to your GP if you need to – don’t diet, just make a conscious effort to eat right and exercise regularly and focus on your health rather than what you look like. If you’re doing it right, you will see a difference in your weight, but you should learn to love yourself for who you are not what you look like.

I’m experiencing this at the moment – I weigh just over 150 lbs which for my height, puts me slightly over my recommended/healthy BMI. My main motivator is that I want to know that I fall within a healthy range and that i’m taking care of myself.

Post # 13
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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HonoraryNerd:  I’m curious to know what you define as healthy. Because if you’re honesty already just healthy and ‘big’, who the f cares about what you look like in pictures? 

Don’t lose weight because you’re “supposed to” or because that is what people do before a wedding. 

That is just.. Not right, in my opinion. If you’re honestly happy and healthy at the weight you’re at then be you, wear your dress with pride and rock it. If 200+ is the way you’re supposed to be then so be it. Pictures and societal norms and what the other girls do is just not relevent. 

Now the fact that you’re even asking this question leads me to honestly believe otherwise. If you really felt you were healthy and the way you’re supposed to be, why even bother posing the question? Wouldn’t you just keep being you and go about your life/wedding? 

Lets be realistic. If you could lose so much weight that your skin would be saggy and your tattoos would change shape and you think your head will be too big for your body, are you really the healthiest you can be? Or are you just medically healthy enough to not get told it’s not healthy? 

I weighed 230+ at one point in my life. Before I had even hit 20 years old for that matter. Did I think it was ‘fine’? Absolutely. Did a doctor EVER tell me I was overweight? Not once. I was 18, 5’3 and 230 pounds. And it’s not like I never went to the doctor. I did, even for medical issues that I now know were because of my weight. Did they tell me that? No mam they certainly did not. I was medically ‘healthy’ with a ‘few extra pounds’

Was I actually healthy? Far from it. Could I stand to lose weight? Absolutely. As it turns out, I could stand to lose almost half my body weight. 

And I did. It took me a lot of years of sorting out what healthy was and healthy wasn’t. It took me toiling away and figuring it out because no, the doctors never told me. No one ever said “hey lala, if you don’t get this under control, it’s going to become a problem” 

I turn 25 this year and I haven’t broken 150 in the last four years. I sit around 130-140 and you know what? I could still stand to be healthier. Mostly because it’s not about the number. And it shouldn’t be. It’s about how I feel, how my bones and body feels, what I eat and how much exersize I get. 

I get what you’re saying and I know the pressure you’re talking about. The pictures, the people, the ever lasting impression you leave on all those people who are going to watch you walk down the aisle. I still, even when I sit at 130 pounds and see a “skinny” girl in the mirror, wonder what I could do to make myself ‘better’ for my wedding day. My abs, my thighs, my back. 

But when it crosses my mind and I really think about it, it’s not for them. It’s for me. For my body, my health, and my longevity. It’s because I could stand to lose the fat on my stomach, could stand to get out and get more exersize in a day and I could stand to eat a little healthier and care more about my health. 

Its not for the pictures. Its for me. 

Do I look different? I sure do. Do I have extra skin that I don’t always like? Yup.. No pretending I don’t. But it bounces back and it is bouncing back. With time and exersize and a healthy diet, I am becoming the healthiest person I can be. And I will keep trying forever. Long past our wedding and ten year anniversary and hopefully many anniversaries afterwards. 

If you’re doing it just for the pictures or because youre supposed to, it’s not worth it because a) it’s not for you and b) it won’t stick and will just make you miserable.

I say go for it though, because there’s never a wrong time to decide you’re going to live a healthier lifestyle. If you change your life for the better and as a result, you change your tattoos and the way your head looks on the top of your body then so be it. If it’s the way you are at your healthiest then you WILL recognize yourself. And you will be happy.

If you’re healthy and happy the way you are, dont change, not for anything. 

If you can stand to be healthier than there’s no time like the present. What will be will be. 

Post # 14
Member
7225 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Being healthy was far more important to me than how I looked on my wedding day.

Post # 15
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t think anyone should feel pressure to lose weight for ‘looks’ or because other people think they ‘should’. If you are happy how you look and feel (in your wedding dress or anything else for that matter) then there is no need to lose weight to look better.

That said, I really struggle with the idea that somebody who is over 200lb is really ‘healthy’, unless they are a body builder (so the weight is muscle) or very very tall. If you want to lose weight for health then absolutely go for it, because I promise you, you will ‘feel’ the benefit even if you are not doing it to look different.

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