Post # 1
Well i have been talking to a couple of my girlfriends about my wedding that we plan on having august 2011. They keep asking me who my bridesmaids will be, but i have sooooo many close close friends and some friends that are really good friends. How do you break it to your good friends that they probably won’t be in your wedding??
My main question is…….
What do you do if your in one of your friends weddings but they won’t be in your wedding because you have other closer freinds that come before them??? Do you think they would understand my situation?
Post # 3
They should understand but.. let’s be real, they probably won’t. Is there anyway you could maybe make them a hostess? That way they can still feel apart of it, but they’re just not that involved as your BM’s will be. That’s what I’m doing, and it’s gone over really well!
Post # 4
mimosa… well i never thought about making them a hostess or anything like that. To tell you the truth i don’t think any of them would want to do that, but thats a really good idea and i’ll bring it up to them. We are looking at having 6 or 7 bridesmaids and groomsmen. My bf has alot of really close friends and i have alot of really close friends that i’ve grown up with so those are the girls that are on my top list for bridesmaids. I’m just afraid of hurting peopls feelings and i feel like if im in someones wedding that they might expect to be in mine? I’ve already talked to 2 of my friends that might not be in my wedding and they’ve already told me when they get married i’ll deff be a bridesmaid, so it makes me feel like shit when i hear that because i know I probably won’t be able to put them in my wedding. I do feel bad but there isn’t anything i can do about it unless i have like 10 bridesmaids and thats just not going to happen. Thanks for the advice and the hostess idea is a great way to include them. Thanx!!!!!
Post # 5
I’m really not a fan of giant wedding parties… it looks more like a parade and it loses its meaning (not if you have 8 sisters… lol). I could have a dozen BMs for this reason or that (that was my original #!), but when it comes down to it there are really only 3 girls I really love/trust (some ladies show their real colors and I’m all about non-drama) enough to have in my Bridal Party. Everyone else I hope to see there!
I’ve also had those “you’ll be in mine” convos w/ many friends and stuff happens. Its not always the case… so don’t get caught up in all that.
I have one friend that I was in her Bridal Party last fall, but she and I have an “eh” friendship… and dear lord, her wedding process was brimming w/ drama! We’ve been friends for 6 years, but have grown somewhat distant since college ended. On 3 occassions she has brought up “returning the favor” by being in my Bridal Party and I really don’t plan to have her in it. Another girl and I were BFFs for 10ish years, but after HS we lost touch except for random txts… she wants me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor still… gah… So, for now I do not address the issue… lol… I don’t have to, yet since its still unofficial!!! Its unfair for anyone to assume they’re in your wedding… but yes, I’m fully aware that happens!
Bridal Party sizes also depend on your wedding size anyway. If I stick to the smaller wedding, then it really would look silly w/ a larger Bridal Party.
Post # 6
Australian weddings tend to have smaller bridal parties – ours was considered pretty big with 4 on each side. Even so, I was in a similar boat, I think I could have easily had 10 bridesmaids. But I stuck to my 2 sisters, my cousin, and my male best friend figuring that since he’s a guy the girls couldn’t get jealous 🙂 I think I did have a jealous friend, I was Bridesmaid or Best Man for her but it didn’t feel right having her in mine (to be honest I’m not sure why she asked me as I didn’t think we were *that* close, I was honoured though). I asked her to do a reading in our ceremony instead. My other girlfriends were more than happy to be helpers especially since almost all my bridal party were interstate – they got the emails, came dress shopping, helped with invitations, set up the reception room on the day. I thanked them all profusely (including in my speech at the reception) and also bought them T shirts with their name and “Wedding Planner” written on the back – I think it helped them all feel included and special!
Post # 7
yeah we are planning on having about 200 people at our wedding.. im not sure if thats considered a big wedding or not? Well i said 7-8 people in my wedding because two of them are mabies, if i don’t have them it will only be 6 people, and two of those people are family and the others are girls i’ve known almost my entire life that i’m still really really close with. The six girls that i have picked out for sure are like my sisters so i wouldn;t be able to bear it if they weren’t standing up next to me. I know some people think having more then 5 girls is silly but i don’t really care because the girls that mean the most to me in the world will be standing next to me. Oh trust me i could put like 13 people in my wedding if i wanted to have all my girlfriends next to me. Yeah like you girls said having the others help plan the wedding and be hostesses would hopefully make them feel involved. I just really hate drama and it would suck if someone threw a fit about something so stupid.
Post # 8
mandalee0624 … yeah i do agree i do think it would look like a parade but i just hate drama and i’m afraid it will cause some!! Like you said it comes down to havng the girls up there that mean the most to you and the ones you can trust with your life. i;m thinking im just going to do the 6 girls i’ve always wanted next to me. Those are the girls that have never stabbed me in the back and they would do just about anything for me. Thanks for the advice and the help!!
Post # 9
we are only having three.. and even then, its a bit of a number…
I have about 10 close girlfriends who I talk to regularly and would consider to be great friends (i will see each one over a span of two weeks at least twice?) However when it came to choosing bridesmaids, I chose my friend Emma because she was level headed, enthusiastic tho, had the time to take on the duties and also she had been my friend the longest.
other two bridemaids, were girls that I were good friends with and I knew would get along great with emma and have a realistic approach to things and would help able to help her and also I had developed a friendship where I knew that they would have my back and understood me and who I am. (so when or whatever emotion that I was feeling they would understand and be a support)
with the other girls… I thought these factors through, even tho there friends.. thinking about how they would relate to each other mattered.
I read about girls who are having drama after drama with their bridesmaids because they just felt as tho they were obligated to. Have a serious think, even write down the pros and cons for each girl (one may have annoying habit that your FH cant stand?, one may work 60 hrs a week, would she have the time?) that kind of thing
Post # 10
Hmmm. It depends which way I look at it. Really, right now, I would say (aside from bf) I don’t have a very best friend (and quite honestly this is getting me down, I barely have friends at home anymore). I have friends for life that I made at uni, and we see each other a couple of times a year and generally try to keep in touch, but there are 3 (R,L and V)of them and then there’s my sister as well.
Tradition in the UK (all the weddings I’ve ever known) is that bride buys bridesmaids dresses, so I’d be making it pricey for myself if I did have them stand up with me. Bf doesn’t have many man friends, so currently agreed on me having my sister, and him having his childhood friend who I am yet to meet.
It sounds crappy, but R is getting married this year, she’s closest to V and she is a bridesmaid whereas me and L are invited as regular guests. Totally cool with it, but it helped me with the “all or nothing” decision – I’m equally close to all 3.
I sound terrible with what I put there.