- 2 weeks ago
I need some help making a decision for my future and I hoped some of you would be able to give me some good advice. Some quick info before I start, Im 28 will be 29 this year, own a property in a city in Scotland, good job and recently got out of a 2 year relationship (which should have ended way before it did – no heartbreak, we became more like friends).
So on the outside I look like I have a lot going for me however I don’t love my job (im a teacher, like the teaching part but moved from a job I loved to a permanent job I just tolerate because my co-workers aren’t the nicest). I live with a flatmate but don’t really need one, it was a necessity at the start but im finding the older I get I think i would prefer to live alone (I own the place). I have very little friends here, since I became single I spend 90% of my free time alone, I try contact friends but they are all either busy or the vast majority have moved out since I originally moved to the city. This can leave me very alone at times and it’s getting progressively worse as i spend more and more weekends alone. The only thing I enjoy about my current situation is my gym.
And here’s to the decision:
When I broke up with my boyfriend I had been considering moving back to my hometown for a few months in the back of my mind, its small but not tiny, in close reach of another city (which is a less popular city) and most importantly my family live there (I’m a big family person) however I can’t reach a decision as i’ve been met with negative opinions from my friends who still live in the city but positive reactions from my friends and family back home.
My main goal in life is to have a family of my own, like i said i’ve very family orientated and get the most enjoyment from spending time with my family, friends and nephew.
My friends negative comments are:
<li class=”li1″>there will be less men back home so less likely to meet someone, the men back home will be less travelled and more ‘simple’ so i will not find them attractive or engaging (I don’t necessarily agree)
<li class=”li1″>why would anyone want to move home, its their worst nightmare, its taking a step back as our current city is the place to be.
<li class=”li1″>You could just change your situation here without moving home.
It’s kind of led me to um and ah about my decision, I would need to find a new job in a new school before I move but it may be more like my old school and i could begin to make a core group of friends again.
So my positives:
<li class=”li1″>Close to family and old friends
<li class=”li1″>Can afford a much larger house, as opposed to my flat without a flatmate
<li class=”li1″>close to the beach and outdoor activities
<li class=”li1″>I would be able to get a dog as closer to my parents who would help during day when im at work.
<li class=”li1″>Salary would stay the same as teaching is well paid and banded here.
<li class=”li1″>I could join more clubs as I used to attend a fair few before I moved out as a teenager and many of the interests I still have.
<li class=”li1″>when I have children I would like them to grow up in the freedom of the countryside and have my parents near by as i have loved seeing them as grandparents and would like to have that with my own children.
<li class=”li1″>I worry I will be judged for moving back home, like i’ve taking a step backwards
<li class=”li1″>Im concerned my parents would not give me the space they do here, I have warned them and although well meaning they can at time be over concerned parents but they do take a telling
<li class=”li1″>That my situation won’t change and i will still not have the friendship group I would love to have and be equally as alone (although i have friends/cousins and other family members I get on with so would definitely have more of a social life)
<li class=”li1″>That I would stay single as there are less men or my friends are right and none of them would tick my box
I haven’t lived at home for over 10 years, is this a grass is greener thing or should i take the plunge?