(Closed) To propose or wait

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Well, do you think she’s BURSTING at the seams to get engaged, or do you think she is looking forward to it but isn’t necessarily expecting it soon? Is she the kind of girl who is very particular about what she wears and her style, or is she pretty open to anything? Id think aboutthese questions. If she’s bursting at the seams to get engaged, then I bet she’d be thrilled with a string around her finger lol. And if she’s super picky about what she wears, she might love knowing before hand what you will choose.

I think its great you’re so excited to propose you’d like to do it asap 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@brinks17:  If I was in your girlfriend’s place, I think that I would both appreciate that you didn’t want to wait anymore to propose, and feel kind of disappointed that the ring you proposed with wasn’t the official, real thing. I think it’s pretty special to be proposed to and have a man slip that ring on the woman’s finger that she’ll wear for her whole life. So I might rather have it be delayed until the official ring is available. 

But without knowing more about your situation (like, have you guys been talking about marriage? Has she been hoping for a proposal for a long time? Have you been acting peculiar or saying hint-y things about this trip) I can’t really make any suggestions. If you’ve been hinting that it will happen on your vacation and it’s been a long time in coming, I imagine it will be disappointing for her if you wait to get the official ring to propose, and it would be better to do it the way you’re thinking. Are you committed to having it be a surprise? If you aren’t insistent on having it be a surprise when you propose, maybe it would be better to explain the situation first? Ugh, I don’t know. Hopefully other Bees will have better advice! 

It would be great if you could elaborate on your situation/relationship; that way we can give you more suitable advice. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Sunnyday278:  You said it better and in fewer words than I did!

Post # 6
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee

@brinks17:  Have you been hyping this trip or dropping hints that this is when you want to propose? Do you think she knows that was/is the plan? Is the holiday season particularly special to either of you? Has she been waiting a while already? If the answer is yes to any of these then I say go for it, otherwise I would wait but maybe let her know it’s coming just so she knows it’s in the works.

ETA: I’m waiting for a proposal myself, and I suspect it will be happening during a vacation we are planning together. If my SO wound up in your shoes I would want him to propose with a stand-in ring on that trip. A lot of my planning has centered around assuming that we would be getting engaged during it and I would be pretty bummed if it didn’t happen.

Post # 8
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brinks17: As a female, I’d want the real ring at the proposal, even if it took a few more months.

Post # 9
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Personally myself, I’d like the REAL ring when you proposed. After you get engaged, the first thing most women do is call their mothers/bff’s and say how perfect the ring is and send pictures. She would be in an awkward situation having to explain ‘well, I have a ring but its not the REAL ring’.

Although, on the oposite side I have a friend who’s husband proposed to her in Mexico with no ring at all. He said the feeling came over him and he knew at that point he needed her as his wife. They went to a tiny gift shop and purchased a little fake ring for a couple dollars. Every year on their wedding anniversary she puts her expensive ring away and wears her little fake diamond. It’s such a sweet story when she says it, and its clearly a huge memory for them.

I think it depends on where you are proposing, how and what your relationship is like!

Post # 12
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brinks17:  how sweet are you to take into account what she wants? I think you’re doing the right thing. Girls want to show off thier ring as soon as they’re engaged and having to show off a ring thats a ‘stand in’ might make her a bit bummed. I’m sure you’ll think of the perfect way to propose once you have THE ring. Congrats to you both!

Post # 13
Hostess
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@brinks17:  You are so sweet, I think you are making a wise choice in waiting, but your idea of proposing is so cute!  You sound awesome so I’m sure you will think of something else equally as amazing!  Good luck to you and your future FI!

Post # 14
Member
33 posts
Newbee

Personally I would get a cheaper stand in -ring and then go pick the ring together, its more about the moment and the proposal rather than the ring itself

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