Post # 1
First time poster and reader but I’m in a bit of a jam. I want to propse to my girlfriend next week on our trip and have it all planned out but don’t have the money to afford the ring I want to buy her. It’s gonna take me about 3 more months of work to save up for it. I already put a deposit down on it. My question is, will it be ok for me to propose with a fake yet very similar ring while on our trip as long as after I ask and before she accepts, I explain the ring situation? Should I show her the ring I put the money down on as well so she could change it up if she doesn’t like it?
Thank you all for your input. I’m just a guy that’s stressed out and needing some female advice!!!
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
Well, do you think she’s BURSTING at the seams to get engaged, or do you think she is looking forward to it but isn’t necessarily expecting it soon? Is she the kind of girl who is very particular about what she wears and her style, or is she pretty open to anything? Id think aboutthese questions. If she’s bursting at the seams to get engaged, then I bet she’d be thrilled with a string around her finger lol. And if she’s super picky about what she wears, she might love knowing before hand what you will choose.
I think its great you’re so excited to propose you’d like to do it asap 🙂
Post # 4
@brinks17: If I was in your girlfriend’s place, I think that I would both appreciate that you didn’t want to wait anymore to propose, and feel kind of disappointed that the ring you proposed with wasn’t the official, real thing. I think it’s pretty special to be proposed to and have a man slip that ring on the woman’s finger that she’ll wear for her whole life. So I might rather have it be delayed until the official ring is available.
But without knowing more about your situation (like, have you guys been talking about marriage? Has she been hoping for a proposal for a long time? Have you been acting peculiar or saying hint-y things about this trip) I can’t really make any suggestions. If you’ve been hinting that it will happen on your vacation and it’s been a long time in coming, I imagine it will be disappointing for her if you wait to get the official ring to propose, and it would be better to do it the way you’re thinking. Are you committed to having it be a surprise? If you aren’t insistent on having it be a surprise when you propose, maybe it would be better to explain the situation first? Ugh, I don’t know. Hopefully other Bees will have better advice!
It would be great if you could elaborate on your situation/relationship; that way we can give you more suitable advice. 🙂
Post # 5
@Sunnyday278: You said it better and in fewer words than I did!
Post # 6
@brinks17: Have you been hyping this trip or dropping hints that this is when you want to propose? Do you think she knows that was/is the plan? Is the holiday season particularly special to either of you? Has she been waiting a while already? If the answer is yes to any of these then I say go for it, otherwise I would wait but maybe let her know it’s coming just so she knows it’s in the works.
ETA: I’m waiting for a proposal myself, and I suspect it will be happening during a vacation we are planning together. If my SO wound up in your shoes I would want him to propose with a stand-in ring on that trip. A lot of my planning has centered around assuming that we would be getting engaged during it and I would be pretty bummed if it didn’t happen.
Post # 7
Thanks for the input everyone! Think I’ll go for it with a nice stand in ring and an explanation. Thank you all again!
Post # 8
@brinks17: As a female, I’d want the real ring at the proposal, even if it took a few more months.
Post # 9
Personally myself, I’d like the REAL ring when you proposed. After you get engaged, the first thing most women do is call their mothers/bff’s and say how perfect the ring is and send pictures. She would be in an awkward situation having to explain ‘well, I have a ring but its not the REAL ring’.
Although, on the oposite side I have a friend who’s husband proposed to her in Mexico with no ring at all. He said the feeling came over him and he knew at that point he needed her as his wife. They went to a tiny gift shop and purchased a little fake ring for a couple dollars. Every year on their wedding anniversary she puts her expensive ring away and wears her little fake diamond. It’s such a sweet story when she says it, and its clearly a huge memory for them.
I think it depends on where you are proposing, how and what your relationship is like!
Post # 11
Thank you everyone for your advice. I was gonna do it but after a bit more digging with her friends help, I’ve decided against it. I really wanted to and had an amazing plan but in the end it needs to be about her feelings And from what her friends gathered it wouldn’t be right even though she would have said yes. Thanks again for all the input. Without everyone I probably would have made a huge mistake and never known. Lol!
Just to fill everyone in, I was going to propose at the top of a ski resort as she got off the lift with her friend. I would have been waiting for her on one knee with the ring in hand as she came off.
Its been planned for awhile but I’m a freelance contractor and the paychecks werent rolling in quick enough to drop the cash on her dream ring all at once. 2 more months and ill have it! I can’t wait for that day!!
Post # 12
@brinks17: how sweet are you to take into account what she wants? I think you’re doing the right thing. Girls want to show off thier ring as soon as they’re engaged and having to show off a ring thats a ‘stand in’ might make her a bit bummed. I’m sure you’ll think of the perfect way to propose once you have THE ring. Congrats to you both!
Post # 13
@brinks17: You are so sweet, I think you are making a wise choice in waiting, but your idea of proposing is so cute! You sound awesome so I’m sure you will think of something else equally as amazing! Good luck to you and your future FI!
Post # 14
Personally I would get a cheaper stand in -ring and then go pick the ring together, its more about the moment and the proposal rather than the ring itself