(Closed) To register or not to register??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think it’s tacky – but that’s my opinion 🙂  I think that if there are specific things that y’all would like to upgrade or get more of or something newer of, then you should totally do it! 

I personally probably wouldn’t include the registry info in the invites, but that’s a general no-no, not just for encore brides/grooms.  Just spread the word, and people will figure it out 🙂

Good Luck!

Post # 4
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i think it’s fine to have a registry. you don’t have to advertise it, if people want to buy a registry gift they can seek out the information. tell a few close friends/family members and the word will get around to those who need it.

Post # 5
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’d be fine to register – but keep it pretty minimal if you’re worried about catching heat from your family/guests. 

Post # 6
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think it’s tacky at all. I would definitely register!!

Post # 8
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think your situation is one for the “alternative” registries such as honeymoon, Amazon, or other interest-related stores like REI. If you’re not interested in more household items but still want to register (a decision I support, by the way), think about what you and your intended like to do.

Two personal examples spring to mind:

A cousin of mine had been living with her now-husband for 11 years before they married, but they’d never really travelled much together. They registered for honeymoon adventures, spa treatments, dinners, and dinners, then took a 2-month dream trip. They took pictures of themselves enjoying all the gifts, and included the pictures in their thank-you notes.

A friend of the family got married for the 4th time. She’s a professional ski instructor and he’s an environmental engineer, so they registered at REI (or was it EMS?), bought the equipment, and learned to rockclimb.

So, I guess that’s my long-winded way of saying YES to registering regardless of your past, with the caveat that it’s for something you’ll truly enjoy receiving as a gift.

Post # 10
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you don’t register, you will get a ton of gifts you don’t want and can’t return anywhere. The fact that it is not the first marriage for either of you is moot. Do not rely on people giving you cash only or whatever you are intending if you don’t register, as the majority prefer to give tangible gifts and will do so regardless of which wedding this is for you. Is there anything you need replaced (linens, dishes, whatever) or that you would like but would never buy for yourselves? Also, don’t feel that you have to limit the registry to household items only. If you honestly don’t have anything that needs to be replaced, register for fun stuff you’ll use together: entertainment, sporting good, whatever fits your hobbies and interests.

Post # 11
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Definitely register – don’t make a big deal about it but have it available if needed.  It will be helpful for your guests!

Post # 12
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

What I found is that younger people have no problem with registries–they luuurve them b/c they’re no muss-no fuss.

Older people tend to have a bigger issue with them on the grounds of etiquette (B&G are not supposed to ask for gifts directly themselves) and also because a lot of them see the exchange of gifts as a chance for them to give you a token of your relationship with them (not a chance for them to buy a blender FOR you). The exception seems to be china. At least, this is my experience thus far.

Anyway, I agree with the bees–do have a registry somewhere (preferably a place with online and brick-and-mortar options), but if you really don’t want gifts or don’t want people to feel obligated, what you can do is not advertise it at all (don’t even put it on your website). Then you can talk to your mom and Future Mother-In-Law and tell them to tell anyone who calls “Yes, they are registered, but they’re quite happy just being in love and would really love it if you just showed up with your dancing shoes instead of a toaster” or something.

Post # 13
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think a registry is ok. A registry doesn’t mean that you’re asking for gifts–it’s just there for people who are looking to give you a gift and want to get you something they know you can use. As with any registry, I just wouldn’t advertise it too heavily–those who want to find it will.

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