(Closed) To register, or not to register…

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Should we make a registry?
    No, that's tacky : (7 votes)
    18 %
    Yes, but keep it small--less than 15 items : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Yes, but don't register for more than 20-25 things : (4 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, and don't limit yourselves just because you're getting married at the courthouse : (26 votes)
    68 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1801 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    A lot of guests get wedding gifts for the day, either instead of or in addition to shower gifts, so I think it is perfectly reasonable, maybe even expected, to create a registry.  And a wedding is a wedding, regardless of your venue or size, so don’t feel like you can’t do something!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    if you want a registry create one. i will tell you that whether or not you create a registry, you will get gifts, and sometimes stuff not on the registry (which dammit i cant return and dont know what to do with!)

    just because you got married by a JOP doesnt make you any less married. a celebration is a celebration and if you are having a reception people will want to give something. so … be prepared πŸ™‚

    Post # 7
    Member
    4354 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    As a guest, I love registries. I’d rather get people something they’ll enjoy/they need. If there is no registry, I always give cash. So in my opinion, registries help people out. Not to say I don’t take the time to thoughtfully pick out a gift for the couple.. I pick out what most feels like my style of gift from the list. So it’s a win win, I pick something I am happy with, you get something you want lol.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @Statutory Grape: i would create the registry now, and if people want to get you stuff they will. leave it open til after your reception in a year as well.

    are you telling folks you are getting married now? some MIGHT ask your parents or family if you are registered anywhere because they want to get you something. However there are some who wont ask or even ponder it since there isnt a huge wedding.

    dont put so much thought into it. Make the registry for a few items you want just in case. its not a gift grab, you arent sending out cards with your registry info on it or something, its there if someone wants to use it.

    stop stressing out πŸ™‚

    Post # 10
    Member
    4354 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Ps. Courthouse, garden wedding or the grand ballroom wedding… any size registry is acceptable. In my opinion it more relates to the guest list size rather then venue. For example let’s say you register for 10 items, and 30 people want to get you a gift.. 20 people might be at a loss as to what to get. Plus you want people to have options to choose from. I never look at a registry and think “Wow this couple expects to get ALL this?!” because no, not everything from registries gets bought but choice is nice.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @Statutory Grape: sounds like a plan. remember gifts arent mandatory – they are apprieciated but not mandatory. a registry just points the guests who do give in the right direction. πŸ™‚ seriously – deep breath and smile πŸ™‚ oh and only register for stuff you actually want… LOL *staring at a gift that im thinking “WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?”*

    Post # 14
    Member
    1871 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I went through so much consternation about our registry because we’re doing a private ceremony and a big party later. I worried that people would think that we were gift-grubbing.

    I decided to register and I think you should too. Let me explain why:

    1. EVERYONE I asked told me to register. People were much happier with some guidance as to gift-buying. More than that, everyone told me to list them on our website and to go ahead and do a full registry unless there was truly stuff we didn’t need (and we DO in fact, need quite a few things). Most people do want to give you a gift–I know that I really wanted to give one to every couple I’ve known to celebrate their marriage.

    2. Your friends and family love you. They really do. They want to celebrate you because they like you. I realized myself that I have never in my life ever thought that people I know were gift-grubbing because they had a registry–and that goes for big traditional blowouts and elopements alike. And I think no one I know would ever assume that I’m gift grubbing myself because I just don’t think they’d believe that about me. If someone did, it means they either don’t know me well (in which case they’re not going to be at the wedding most likely) or they’re not someone I really care to know or care about what they think (also unlikely to be a guest). I doubt your friends and family, if they love you, would think that you’re gift-grubbing either. In other words, I understand the sensitivity to etiquette and not wanting to appear greedy, but on the other hand, if you worry to much, you’re thinking the worst of your friends and family.

    3. And if you really want to be cautious, just don’t advertise it–tell your parents and close friends where you are registered and the people that are interested in getting you a gift will go through the appropriate channels to find out.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @Statutory Grape: a hideous vase that matches NOTHING i own. i mean i added it so i have no one to blame but myself… *sigh*

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