(Closed) To Santa or not to Santa?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 107
2355 posts
Buzzing bee

The adult world is a harsh reality.  Let kids have a little fun and magic, even if it’s for a brief time in their lives.  


Post # 108
11376 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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eagleandimgone :  Fret not, sans Santa is no biggie. 

Your Mother-In-Law, on the other hand, is a big problem.

Post # 109
1470 posts
Bumble bee

LOL at the kid who’s gonna believe in Harry Potter but not Santa.  Yeah, that makes sense.  And my kids will be unliked?  We’ll see.

Perfect example – top comment on Reddit today.  Why fantasy is so important for kids — it’s more about your daughter’s smile and joy than about your stubborn attitude.  MIL has set it up, now it’s time for you to allow her to have this.


Post # 110
3287 posts
Sugar bee

The only solution is having a Belsnickel household. 

Post # 111
3881 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

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SaraJeanQ :   do you truly not think that parents have a right to raise their children with the traditions they want to? Because that is the issue here. This isn’t about Santa. This is about a Mother-In-Law undermining parents when it comes to their child and the decisions they’ve made in regard to that child. That’s it. That’s the matter at hand. Santa is a tool that OPs Mother-In-Law is using to overstep her boundaries and push her own idea of what their family traditions should be with zero care, concern, or consideration for what the parents want.

Post # 112
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Yeah, let’s keep teaching kids to believe in Capitalism, to be easily manipulated by marketing and to only do “good” thing because they’d be rewarded 😀 yay!

Jokes aside, Santa isn’t expanding your imagination. At least, not nowadays. Maybe (althought I am not convinced) it was before, in a time when Santa wasn’t the face of Coke during Christmas, or a reason to attend the mall and go shopping. Santa should be taught as a fictional character and nothing all. Kids can still play with fictional characters in their mind…the problem is when these become “real” because others tell them so. Santa should remain as it is, a fictional character, and OP’s Mother-In-Law should accept so as well.

I never believed Santa was real. I knew he wasn’t but still enjoyed pretending he existed. I would drean about the North Pole and elves…I would even write him letter. But I knew he was not real 🙂 

Post # 113
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Just so you know, this conversation has gotten me thinking quite a bit for a while and reaffirmed my desire to not teach my kids about Santa. I had a discussion with the DH about it and he is totally on board with no Santa or Easter Bunny- woohoo!!! Presents will come from the actual recipients and the focus will be more on family and not on Santa. 

Post # 114
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

I feel like this is a decision for the parents, and it’s not for your Mother-In-Law to decide. I’m sorry you are going through this.

Post # 115
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I think your mil is over stepping a lot and she needs a talking too. However I don’t think Santa is a bad thing. You can teach it as a spirit of giving and a symbol and explain that to mil that she doesn’t have to say no Santa just that Santa isn’t a man as such.

I think my view on Santa may be a little different though as I was never bought up that Santa gave all or most of the presents. Santa bought a present. Only ever one and everything else was from my parents. Other children had all their presents from Santa and I was told that actually only one would be but some parents liked to say that all were (I fully excepted this) santas present was normally something special but not necessarily something expensive it was more about a symbol of being recognised. I don’t think I ever truly believed in a man in the North Pole and I probably knew from an early age it was my parents but it was more that santas gift was something particularly special I still have a lot of them as they were things to keep like an ornament or a coin. 

Post # 116
458 posts
Helper bee

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eagleandimgone :  OP I just wanted to leave a little comment to thank you for this thread. I’d never entertained the idea or in fact even heard of the idea of not teaching your kids about santa as a literal figure. But after reading about your reasons I did a little research and now Husband and I agree for our own various and deeply thought through reasons that if we ever had kids we’d most likely not teach our kids there’s a literal santa. 

We talked about all the things that have made Christmas so festive and magical to us and how we can take the essence of these things to create exciting traditions for our family. One thing my sister and I found is that when we were old enough to earn our own money the BEST thing about Christmas is being able to pick awesome presents for our parents, so Husband and I decided a great Christmas tradition if we had two kids would be to let them (with supervision and guidance of course!) pick the gifts for their sibling’s stocking – to get the appetite for the magic of giving not just getting from an early age! I LOVE this John Lewis (UK store) Christmas advert that perfectly summarises this feeling! https://youtu.be/dKVhv7loW9k 

Oh and for what it’s worth my mum’s family is Filipino and we’d regularly visit family there, often at Christmas. There was a lot of poverty out there and many of the children we hung out with didn’t  even own a single a toy to start with never mind get a visit from Santa. We’d ask our parents why Santa couldn’t just bring them toys and were told Santa didn’t visit all parts of the world like the Philippines, but then sure enough on Christmas morning he’d visited us so then we’d get told that he just didn’t visit all kids. Obviously with not much more of an explanation than that because as a parent what can you really say… “you’re special and deserving but nobody else on the street is”. I don’t feel ‘damaged’ by the santa myth at all but that’s not my or my husband’s personal preference for how we’d like to teach our children to relate to the world. Your Mother-In-Law is shockingly despicable and self centred for thinking that she gets a say in your fundamental parenting style. It needs to be made clear to her that this is not about Santa per se but about respecting parental boundaries and wishes. It might be Santa when she’s young but what might it be when she’s older? Possibly something a lot more damaging. This needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP!

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