(Closed) To serve or not to serve alcohol?

posted 7 years ago in Food
Post # 3
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

have a bar! SO’s mom isnt too happy (not upset just… a little worried, i guess) with the fact that we’re having a full  open bar, mostly because two of SO’s brothers are recovering alcoholics. But seriously, it’s our wedding and their alcoholism is really not my problem. It’s harsh but we have 200 guest and about 75% of them drink, including SO and I. I’m not going to change my wedding and how I want it to be because of 2 people that can’t control themselves.

I say talk to her and tell her how you feel. She has to understand. And is she doesnt, have your bar anyway.

Post # 4
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

It is your’s and your FI’s wedding. If you want to have a bar, then have one. Make her stand by her statement of “his mother has said that I am in charge of decisions.  It is my day and I shouldn’t let other’s have too much influence or make my decisions for me.” She will get over it. If you don’t stand up to her now, it will be harder to stand up to her later.

Post # 5
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Like PP said, if its what you guys want then do it. I she doesnt want to drink then she doesnt have to

Post # 6
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

There would have be no one at my wedding if there was no alcohol! Remember: It’s your wedding and YOU do what YOU want. Other people can deal with your decisions.

Post # 7
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Why would the Future Mother-In-Law be embarassed by having alcohol at the reception?

In any case, it’s YOUR decision. If you want a bar, have one. If it would help, you could consider having beer and wine only… But, I say, HAVE A BAR. I know my guests would be SORELY disappointed if they showed up to a dry wedding.

Post # 8
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I wonder why she will feel embarassed by having it at the wedding. Is it due to religious reasons? Perhaps she can’t “handle” her alcohol? Either way, I think you should do what you want. She hasn’t taken the time to tell you one way or the other, or explain her reasonig… so I woudln’t cancel something I wanted so much for her. Hopefully it won’t be a slap in the face to her, but honestly, it doesn’t seem to be a big deal.

My parents are way against us having alcohol. My mom’s dad was an alcoholic, go figure. They don’t want our wedding “ruined” by people who drink too much. But they did say it was my choice and I can do what I want. The only thing they asked was that they did not want to pay for it. That presents a problem because they’re paying for the entire wedding… so we’re trying to scrape up some money to do it. We’ll see what happens 🙂

Post # 9
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You want a bar, so HAVE A BAR. I would find it very strange to not have the choice to have a drink as a guest.

Post # 10
1124 posts
Bumble bee

If you want a bar then have one. We’re having a dry wedding partially because of his family’s religion and partially because we aren’t big drinkers and can’t afford it anyway. Is your Future Mother-In-Law paying for the wedding? If so, I’d say pay for the bar yourself.

Post # 11
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012


I really think that if you want an open bar and she’s not paying for it then you should have an open bar. However, is there anyway you could compromise? Maybe only have an open bar for the cocktail hour and then just a cash bar after that? People may drink less with the knowledge that they’ll have to pay for it later. Or maybe just serve wine and beer? That may make her feel a little more comfortable.

Hopefully she won’t be too angry with your choice. After all, she did tell you to make your own decisions. 

Post # 12
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s something you want.. you can afford it… and it’s only one night.  She’ll get over it.  It if was really that serious she should’ve discussed it with you like a grown woman.  Have a bar and don’t give it a second thought.

Post # 13
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

For her not to come talk to you shows you that she is not serious.  Have a bar.  If she confronts you later tell her she should of come to you personally in the first place.

Post # 14
27 posts

In my culture (Mexican) and my SO culture (Italian) we always serve alcohol and open bar. It’s really not that expensive. My sister was married last August and the bar bill came to about $3000 for a 300 person wedding. 


If you’re a born again or similar and you don’t drink alcohol, then that is another case. 

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