(Closed) To shower, or not to shower?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
957 posts
Busy bee

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MrsVC2015:  I think it is inconsiderate of him not to want you to have a shower. The people that want to throw you a shower should be able to do so. Typically,  the groom is not included,  so the shower is for you not him. I think he is being too self-centered about this.

Post # 18
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Personally, I’d have a shower but NO registry.  If guests ask, you can say gifts aren’t required.   

Of course you’re “allowed” to have a traditional shower, you don’t need Weddingbee’s permission!! I just find it wasteful to register for a bunch of home decor and kitchen items you don’t really need.  We live in a consumer culture where celebrating means spending $$$, but there are lots of other ways to celebrate you and your upcoming marriage without buying a garlic press from BB&B. 

Post # 19
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We were in the same situation except we are both about 10 yrs older than you. I felt funny having a shower as well but, our families are happy for us! They want to participate in these celebrations. Ask your Fiance if he would begrudge his brother, cousin, aunt, etc a gift because they’ve already been married. I doubt it!



Post # 20
31 posts

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MrsVC2015:  If you don’t want to have a shower, you don’t have to have one. It’s not the custom where I live, so I didn’t know this was a usual practice! Weigh up the pros and cons. You might get some nice gifts, but will it outweigh your feeling of being uncomfortable? Surely the presents you might have gotten at the shower, will be given to you at the wedding itself, if you have them on your registry. But if you feel like you might regret not having one… go for it! Your husband being married before does not affect you in this case.

Sending you best wishes and I hope it goes well whatever you decide 🙂

Post # 21
1821 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If someone wants to throw you a shower let them throw you one.  Your fiance has no say in this what so ever. The wedding is about the both of you but the bridal shower is only about the bride. 

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