(Closed) To tell extended family or not to tell?

posted 8 years ago in Elopement
Post # 18
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i think you should tell them after, but directly after (like within the week) and then there is no risk of them crashing the ceremony since it seems like a concern you have, but they arent in the dark for so long that they can get (extra) uppity about it. definitely dont not ever tell them and let people think that the 12/31/13 event is your actual wedding… theres no way that wont get out and when it does, it will cause some major shit.

Post # 19
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LadyN1392:  

We’re doing wedding announcements (which we’ll mail the Monday after the wedding) + celebration party a month or so after. 

We also aren’t telling anyone beforehand.

Post # 21
Member
6114 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We are still debating on having an anniversary party next year (one that we host completely).  Our families have not even met yet and I think if we don’t host SOMETHING they will never meet.  However, if I couldn’t get them here for a wedding, not sure if a party is going to work.

All the sisters had circumstances in their lives that prohibited travel this year though.  We’ll see.

 

Post # 23
Member
6114 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Eh, I’m fine without a party.  If they never meet, then I saved my new in-laws from craziness.

Post # 25
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Fiance and I are in a similar situation! We’ve been engaged for 8 months and have been planning a big wedding next October. But because I’m impatient (and really wanted to elope from the beginnning), we just decided to elope this Oct 5 (with parents and siblings present) and still have the big wedding next Oct 5. It will turn into a 1 year anniversary/vow renewal type thing. I’ve been struggling with who to tell in the family. I decided to tell my grandparents (only because my Fiance and I live with them and I wouldn’t feel right not telling them until afterward). We’re going to keep it a secret from everyone else until after we’re married this Oct 5.

Post # 27
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@LadyN1392:  Sweetie, my fiance’ and I are eloping in 5 weeks. He told his mom, but the rest of our family & friends think we are still getting married next year. We decided last month to post pone the wedding so that everyone could save up money to travel. They were all set on us fitting the bill which is not happening. So we decided that we don’t want to wait and are eloping. We will tell everyone when we get back. This way we can enjoy our marriage between the two of us for a few weeks. I hope this helps you. Good luck in your decision. 

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