(Closed) To Tell or Not to Tell??????? That is the question…

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: who to tell before the "proposal"?
    his parents : (1 votes)
    3 %
    your parents : (3 votes)
    9 %
    both parents : (10 votes)
    29 %
    surprise everyone : (20 votes)
    59 %
  • Post # 3
    4979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I knew when I was getting proposed to, and we kept it a secret from our parents. They already knew it was coming sooner or later. I did tell my mom that I thought it was coming “soon”, but that’s only because I could barely keep my mouth shut. 

    Post # 4
    1805 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    He asked my mom for permission and she still tells people about it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 5
    3039 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My Fiance asked my dad for permission ages before he proposed, so I guess both my parents knew it was coming at some point. His parents also sort of knew, but not exactly when. He then proposed on Bermuda when we were there on our Easter trip – it had occurred to me that it might happen, but I was still SO surprised. Once we got back to the hotel I was so exited that I blogged about it, THEN realised that I should perhaps call my parents. However, as they were in South Africa I couldn’t reach them at the time – so in the end they found out about it through my grandma that had read the blog post. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 6
    1839 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    neither of our parents knew. as far as i know my dad didn’t care that he didn’t “ask permission.”  he may have even thought it was weird if he did ask.

    Post # 7
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Although I knew we would be getting engaged soon, the actual proposal was a suprise (and without a ring).  We told his parents right away after he proposed, but I didn’t tell my parents until my ring arrived a week or two later (I kept putting it off because I was nervous about their reactions, although they were actually really excited).  I avoided saying anything on Facebook until I told my parents.

    ETA: I just re-read your post and saw that he isn’t actually proposing until he gets the ring – in that case, I’d for sure wait til it’s official to tell them.

    Post # 8
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Fiance told my Dad he planned to propose the following day, my Dad had the option to tell Mum/Sis or keep it to himself. Cheeky bugger choose to keep it to himself so everyone (including me!) was surprised! It was a lovely moment telling my Mum and Sis, they both burst into tears. It also made my Dad feel special and important, like the keeper of the secret which I know he loved ๐Ÿ™‚

    So I vote either just tell Dad (sort of traditional) or surprise everyone!


    Post # 9
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I voted for tell your parents.

    He talked to both of my parents separately (divorced), but more as a heads up (as you said), rather than asking permission. My dad said he really appreciated, and my mom was touched. My dad and I have had a tumultuous relationship since he left my mom (a long time ago), and I think my dad liked that he went to him first to let him know it was going to happen.

    However, he also told his parents, 2 brothers and SIL, but I kind of wish he hadn’t. While I knew it was coming and a general timeline, I also felt like everyone else knew and it turned into less of a surprise and more of a “we knew it was coming sometime”.

    ETA: he also told one of my sisters that he’s pretty close with – I didn’t mind, she was super cute and excited about it

    Post # 10
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Both sets of parents expected that we’d get engaged one day, but he surprised me with the proposal and then we told our parents immediately after.  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 12
    1123 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We waited. The only person I told was my best friend because I wanted to be sure she was there so I told her as soon as we started looking at rings ๐Ÿ™‚

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