(Closed) …to tell the guests or not to tell….

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think it’s dishonest to pretend you aren’t married when you really are…just my .02. I like the date reversal idea, but please do not refer to the ceremony as a wedding. Your wedding is the legal ceremony that would come first.

Post # 4
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you have to tell anyone. If someone asks or brings it up, then be honest. But I don’t think you need to disclose that information.

Post # 5
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Telling your guests will be totally up to you. However, just like in for a destination wedding, you could let your guests know that you have already been married, but because they weren’t at the wedding, you want to have a “traditional” reception celebrating your marraige.

Now, as far as someone to marry you, a grandparent? best friend? mentor? all of these would be great choices…

Happy Searching!!!

Post # 6
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

no need to keep it from people and if they ask you just tell them the same thing you just posted…that it was important to you & your husband to have someone important to you to married the 2 of you.  If they don’t like it, then that’s their problem.  

 

Post # 8
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@ab33arch: If it were me? I’d just do the courthouse thing and be done with the wedding aspect. But it’s not me, so…;P You could always call it a vow renewal, I suppose.

Post # 9
Member
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s up to you if you want to tell them right off the bat or wait until someone questions it (if anyone even does?) but I don’t think you need to call it anything else as previously suggested. Call it your wedding, who cares. Plus I doubt any guest will judge you or care whether the ceremony they saw was THE legal one or not.

Post # 10
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think I would lie about it or not tell my guests (after all, they are friends and family you know?), but I would still call it a wedding. A vow renewal brings to mind something you do years after you’ve been married. 

IMO, the wedding is the part where you get up in front of those you love and promise to love one another. I don’t see anything wrong with making it legal ahead of time and still “getting married” later. 

Post # 11
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

You can still call it your wedding – I see no problem with it, as it’s your public vow exchange. However, I would not lie to guests if someone asks, and if you’re worried about what people think, doing it a few days before the scheduled wedding would be less controversial. 

Post # 13
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We are in the same sort of boat.  I want a good friend to marry FH and I.  But since I’m not sure if him getting ordained online will make it legal for him to marry us, we might make it legal at the JOP.  If we do the JOP it would be the day before or day after our wedding. 

And we are calling it a wedding, cause that is when FH and I are pleging our life and love to each other in front of those that we love and that love us.  It was FH idea to do it that way.

Post # 15
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

you can still call it a wedding… a wedding is just the name of the actual ceremony.. no one will really care if you’re already legally married, its not a crime.. 

Post # 16
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think in this case, then, maybe a week or less before the wedding would be the best plan. I mean, two months, to me at least, is a bit sketchy since you’ve been living as husband and wife for two months.

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