Post # 1
I’m interesting in hearing from the Bees who were waiting (and waiting, and waiting) and are now engaged.
My question to you is this:
If you could write a message to yourself a week before he proposed, what would it say?? What advice or words of reassurance would you give to yourself??
I guess I’m just really interested in hearing what headspace a lot of people were in right before it happened (especially if they weren’t expecting it!)
Post # 3
I want to know too!!! (Bump)
Post # 4
@miss_blondie86: This is a good question!!
I’d say, “Cola, stop peeking into his email and getting your hopes up for no reason!! It’s going to happen sooner than you think, so just chill. He loves you and you love him, and that’s all that matters, no matter how long it takes for him to propose.”
Or somethin’ like that 🙂
Post # 5
i was never waiting…but i hope someone else can be an inspiration to all you waiting bees out there!!
Post # 6
After 8 years of dating, and at least 2 of actively waiting, I was in a really good place. The week before I was busy getting ready for a vacation to California (where he proposed), so I’m not sure what I would say to myself – but it’s an interesting question. 🙂
Post # 7
Oh my gosh, I was a mess before he proposed. I had been waiting for almost 5 years and my 3 closest friends in the world had gotten engaged in the three months leading up to my proposal AND they had been with their significant others for years (yes, YEARS) less than us. Every single friend of mine was single when we met and every one was married or engaged by the time we got engaged. Of the people who had been together less time, one actually had 2 kids by then (and another was already divorced…yikes). When my two best friends who had been with their BFs for less than a year got engaged after we had spent years talking about my future wedding, I felt like the universe was playing a joke on me. Plus his whole family asked us every time we saw them (on a monthly basis) when he was going to pop the question (like I knew the answer!?). I wanted to scream and cry on a daily basis (and did sometimes!). I actually did cry earlier the day he proposed, unbeknownst to him. Man, if I could talk to me a week before he proposed, I would say: “CALM DOWN. Relax and stop obsessing over the proposal, the ring, engagement, etc. Stop looking for signals or getting upset if you think there aren’t any signals. It’s going to happen and it’s going to be the most amazing day of your life – just let it happen.” Yep, that’s what I would say.
Post # 8
@hardtoconcentrate: Love it!!
But would you have listened?? 😀 hehe
Post # 9
I would tell myself to calm to eff down! I got my hopes up..then dashed the day we got engaged so I wasn’t in the best mood possible, but I was still in a really happy place because we got the weekend alone. But because I was so excited and then so disappointed, it made the whole thing a giant surprise.
Post # 10
I would have told myself to stop pushing— he was going to do it. Toward the end of my wait, I was relaxing though which made our relationship so much more easier because we were focusing on our love and not a ring. He was more affectionate, as I and the waiting anxiety just melted away.
I would have also told myself not to look for the ring box- it was a surprise I would have been very excited about if I didn’t know about it before hand.
Post # 11
I would tell myself to relax and enjoy where I’m at. I was super anxious the week leading up and could think of nothing other than possible proposal situations! Looking back I wish I would’ve taken a breath and enjoyed the closing of one chapter of my life right before a new one was about to begin!
Post # 12
For me, I wished I had reminded myself that the “stressful” part was actually over. I had found the one, who the hell cares if there is jewelry involved yet? This makes the formal engagement way less anxiety fueled and more like the codification and confirmation of your status as “people who intend to make a life long committment”
Also, STOP LOOKING AT WEDDING STUFF. It will just do your head in, planning every little detail wondering why you can’t openly shop for the perfect venue yet (or in my case, label my wedding inspiration folders boring shit like “Advanced Litigation Theory” because I didn’t want to seem like I was getting ahead of myself…and yes, I am the only one who uses this computer, so it was really more like I was worried I would jinx it some how). A little advance planning can be fun and exciting, too much is just torture. Just try and enjoy the pre-wedding relationship, because once you get engaged you will talk about it non-stop until it happens.
Post # 13
My husband proposed 2 days after our 9 and a half year anniversary!
I would have told myself to RELAX and just understand that he had everything under control and I didn’t need to second guess everything he did or try to find hidden meanings in things he said!
ETA – I just wanted to clarify that I wasn’t “waiting” 9 and a half years! Really only for about 11 months!
Post # 14
I never “waited” since we always talked about marriage and I was convinced of a 2013 wedding, but there was a 1 month period when all I could think of was marriage.
I had this inner chat with me one day and that made me stop:
“relax, it’s gonna happen eventually and you talking to him about weddings and rings all the time just smothers him, if he’s planning to surprise you he’ll wait until you leave it aside (remember how Chandler did it to Monica?). Don’t think about a ring you want cause chances are he’s not giving you that one, don’t think about he’s proposing cause chances are he’s doing it his way not yours and please stop looking at venues you’ll freak him out when you present him with quotes minutes after he proposes (I did)”
Post # 15
I would have told myself:
Stop obsessing. Stop talking about it. Quit pushing. And for heaven’s sake stop crying when he’s not home. He already has the ring, it won’t be much longer.
Post # 16
Thankfully we were really busy the week or so leading up to the proposal because I was helping a friend plan her wedding, we were closing on our house, and we were about to go on a trip. No, he did not propose on said trip, thank goodness, he did it before then. I would have told myself to enjoy those last few days of being boyfriend/girlfriend because our lives were about to change–in a good way 🙂 I would have told myself to enjoy each moment and not think about the engagement. Now, I knew the ring was coming in the next few weeks and it was so hard not to think about it, but I guess I wish I could tell myself to stop being pissed that I have been waiting for so long!! Easier said than done, ha! You see, we had been together almost 5 years and we, like other PPS have said, were dating longer than almost all of our friends, yet they were the ones getting engaged. Every time I thought we were next another one did it. It was frustrating but I knew our time would come eventually. Just try to relax and not anticipate it because it will make it more of a surprise and more fun!