(Closed) To the married bees… What was important to you after the wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

1. First look.  It was a romantic moment and some of my favourite photos. 

2. Our DJ was amazing. He really set the tone for the party and had everyone in such a great mood with the game he played between speeches and dinner. (Played a guess that song game, and if they got it right we kissed, adn if they got is wrong, we picked who kissed at the table….it was a hit).  And then he played awesome music all night….the dance floor was always full. 

3. So glad we did a church wedding. Our priest made our ceremony so full of meaning and beauty.  Our non-Catholic friends appreciated the tone of the ceremony as much as our Catholic friends…..they said they liked what our priest said. 

Post # 33
Member
7691 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

The only thing that even at this point I still wish we would’ve done is get videography. I would give anything to be able to hear our vows again or our toasts or watch as the day unfolds. I tell this to everyone I know getting married. It is worth the money and you will regret it if you don’t get it done! 

 

Things I’m really glad we did

1) sweetheart table – it allowed for us to be able to spend some alone time together and talk one on one. It felt very intimate

2) Wrote our own ceremony – it felt really personal, people loved it and it was very “us”

3) Our food – we were very particular about the food we were serving. We have been to 6 weddings since our own and I can say not one had food that even came close to how good ours was. People still talk about how good our food was! 

4) Left our reception by boat – Our parents were very skeptical about this idea and really did not want us to do it even though we were adamant….we did it anyyway and even though we ended up getting lost on the lake for 2 hours, it was so much fun and I love the pictures of us pulling away from the dock. I will never forget that boat trip which was truly our first challenge and adventure as a married couple. It also made a really great story to tell! 

Post # 34
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

SO glad we:

-Did a first look – not only was it great to see each other but we were able to get all the photos out of the way before the ceremony (we didn’t have any gaps as our ceremony & reception were at the same place)

-Hired the photographer that we did – our pictures are amazing and I love them! It is so great reliving those memories.

-Had a day-after brunch at the hotel the next day. It was so nice to get to hang out with friends and family even more… super casual just sitting around and chatting about the previous night. I’d suggest leaving the day after your wedding free if possible (we left for our honeymoon Mon morning instead of Sun).

-Had an evening wedding (ceremony started at 5:30pm). Not only was it great to party late into the night with our friends (reception ended at midnight), but we had all morning and most of the afternoon to just relax! Our hair & makeup didn’t start until 11 (as opposed to weddings I’ve been in that start at the crack of dawn) so we could all sleep in and just hang out around the house while getting ready. The excitement & anticipation during that morning was so great, like the night before Christmas.

 

Wish we had:

-Spent a little more time visiting with non-dancing guests. We did go around to every table during dinner, which was great, but for the rest of the reception we were pretty much on the dance floor the entire time… don’t get me wrong, I LOVED the dancing, and most of our guests were out there anyway, but there were some people I felt I didn’t get enough one-on-one time with because they weren’t on the dance floor. But, of course, had I visited more, I’d probably be lamenting the fact I didn’t dance enough. Can’t win! 🙂

-Told our photographer more specifically that I wanted photos of certain details. I asked generally if detail shots had been taken, and was told yes, but when we got the photos back, a lot of things were missing. In the grand scheme of things it is not a big deal because the photos we do have are fantastic (and really, it’s the people that are important), but I put a lot of time into the details and can’t really remember what they all looked like set up. Oh well, maybe it’ll be on the video!

I can’t really think of any other regrets (and truthfully, these are pretty minor). All in all it was a fantastic day!

Post # 35
Member
6391 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Things I loved:

  • Our first look 
  • Our ceremony (highly personalized)
  • Getting ready at the venue
  • The photos
  • We had a carriage ride after the ceremony that was incredibly fun
  • The food was amazing
  • We had a dry reception, and I’m glad that we did for my family.
  • We had a fantastic after party.

Things I wish I could/would have changed:

  • We made it to the venue half an hour late. I should have gotten up earlier!
  • I forgot some stuff at home (toss garter, gift cards for toss), and I wish I would have packed a bag before or something. 
  • I wish I would have gotten a little bit more sleep. Drink some chamomile tea or something the night before!

Post # 36
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I have had 2 weddings in my life and I learned somethings from both…

#1 thing…. good photographer.  Invest in one you like.  research and find a style that you really love and will cherish. 

#2 have fun, SMILE!  Don’t try to look too serious.

#3 spend time with your husband.  Talk to him, have a “I love you” conversation in private, don’t just brush him off cause you have a hundred people waiting to oohh and ahh at you in your dress

THAT’s IT!  Don’t fret the small stuff

Post # 37
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i am so happy about how our ceremony turned out – down to the wine box ceremony, writing our own vows and having two of closest friends be readers.  i loved all of it.  i always knew the actual ceremony would be the most important and it really was the best part of the day.  so much so that if i could go back, i would get a videographer just for the ceremony.  though i am lucky since one of my friends graciously videotaped the whole ceremony for us on my camera!  thats how i know now just how important the video was!  i asked him to videotape 1 – 2 minutes so i could have a snapshot video, i never expected/wanted him to tape the whole thing since he was there as a guest. but he did and to this day, i cannot express enough gratitude! so i got lucky, but will advice any future brides how special/amazing it is to have a complete video of our ceremony.

what i wish i done different was be more generous with time when organizing a timeline for pictures with my photographer.  we had it all planned out good, but things happen (we started late, took longer for bride and groom photos), and as a result, we have limited bridal party photos that i love.  so i wish i had someone planned the timeline better.  we have 30 mins for B&G, 30 mins for bridal party and 30 mins for family. i would say an hour each would have been better. like 2 hours before the ceremony and 1 hour after. and then if things go off schedule/get delayed, then you still have time.  if things go on time, then you have you extral lounging around/relaxing time if you finish photos early!

what i could have done without are some of the smaller details like matching toasting flutes, guest book and cake knife.  none of was that important and not really worth the money.  these were things i just bought because i came across them online.  basically if i hadnt seen them advertised, i never would have bought them nor cared/noticed.

Post # 38
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Things I’m glad we did:

  • Spent time personalizing the ceremony. Our officiant was my husband’s childhood friend, who is by profession a minister. His homily was amazing–touching, funny, and right on point.
  • We included every member of our immediate family in the ceremony, which meant a lot to them and us.
  • We couldn’t afford a videographer, but we had a family member record the ceremony with a small video camera and a tripod. I’m so happy we have it (and saved the loot)!
  • After the ceremony, we took 15 minutes just to ourselves to let the moment sink in. Then, we joined the cocktail hour for 45 minutes. We didn’t do any posed pictures after the ceremony. It was so great to actually be present at our own wedding. There is a downside to this, however–our pre-ceremony pictures were a bit rushed and we don’t have many of the bridal party.
  • Had passed drinks after the ceremony. This kept the bar line down and got people in the party mood. Instead of standing in line, people were mingling.
  • Skipped the majority of wedding traditions that weren’ts “us” (no receiving line, did dessert station instead of regular wedding cake, no garter/bouquet toss, no father/daughter dance, no bridal party entrance). We didn’t get pressured into anything we didn’t want to do.
  • Had a iced tea/lemonade/cookie table set up before the wedding so early arriving guests could snack. We had a ton of compliments on this.
  • Created individualized prompts at each guest’s seat to start conversations since we had a number of tables with guests that didn’t all know each other. An example: to a friend who just bought a house–“What’s your favorite thing about being a homeowner?” We asked each guest to share their prompt and answer with their table. This made dinner a lot less awkward.
  • My husband greeted guests as they arrived–we really liked this touch!
  • Worked carefully on our music list. The DJ followed it and the guests danced all night long.
  • Spent almost all night together.
  • Rented transportation to the venue. This allowed people to drink and also encouraged more people to come to our afterparty.

Things I would have changed

  • Bought more time at the venue and with the photographer! The night goes so fast.
  • Thanked our guests for coming over the mike. We forgot. We did speak to almost everyone one-on-one, but some guests left right after dinner and we missed them.
  • Made sure I got all of the pictures I wanted. I love the ones I have, but wish I’d made sure there were a few bridal shots (there isn’t a single one of just me in my dress) and a few more shots of me with my bridesmaids (I only have one!).
  • I wasn’t 100% happy with my bouquet and spent about 5 minutes being annoyed. I wish I hadn’t even given those flowers a second thought. They were beautiful and in the end, not even that important. I carried them for less than a minute as I walked down the aisle.

My take-away–you have to decide what is most important to you and sure those things happen. Sometimes, you have to make hard choices (like taking a bunch posed photos vs. spending time at the cocktail hour.) It’s so easy to second-guess yourself after the fact–don’t let yourself do it. I have another post obsessing over all of the small things that went “wrong” day-of (see http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/what-went-wrong-at-your-wedding-what-went-better-than-expected). But two months later, I can’t figure out why I worried about any of these things. The day was AMAZING!

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