(Closed) To those of you who had / are having dress regret…

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Basically, I attribute buying the wrong dress the first time to these factors:

  • I went too early and didn’t research really what I was looking for enough (only 3 weeks after getting engaged).
  • I was not open to different styles initially.  I had it in my head that I didn’t want to go near a strapless dress and I ended up with and so-so halter dress.
  • When the consultant put on a veil, my eyes went big with the “OMG I look like a bride!” realization.  My sister took this as a sign that it was the right dress and convinced me it was perfect.
  • and finally… While yes, I did “like” the dress, I’m very budget-conscious, and when the consultant told me that the dress was on clearance for $150, I said, well for that price, it’s good enough!

Sadly, 3 months later I was looking at pics of me in the dress and just knew something was wrong.  I seriously could not see myself walking down the aisle in it.  A few weeks later I picked out a strapless dress, alone, that just really felt like me, and all was right with the world. And still in my budget.  Cool

Post # 4
Member
11239 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

It just wasn’t what I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, I do really love my dress, but I wanted more drama/detail/lace/something. Like ItsPronounced_ABear, I didn’t really research beforehand. I was also staunchly opposed to going to David’s Bridal, and I wish I would have after seeing the VW White dresses.

I was also a little pressured by my FMIL and BM who were with me because they loved it so much (and FMIL offered to buy it for me), and another group on the bridal floor, who made me come stand on their pedestal while their bride was in the dressing room. I’m also not really happy with the salon now that the dress has been purchased–for one, they don’t offer on-site alterations (which I wish they would have said during my appointment), and they put a bunch of dresses from other designers under their “exlusive house label” but don’t tell you that. I was not happy when I found out that my dress is actually a Venus dress (which is fine, but that’s shady) with their label on it. The owner really does not like me at all now.

Post # 5
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

I guess mine is more or less “dress anxiety”….I went to at least 4 stores including DB I wanted to stay within a certain budget and find something that was unique one dress clearly stood out as the winner it looked great on me and i got compliments from another bride and her party that i knew were genuine when i went to try it on….that was in early feb and

1) I haven’t seen my dress since feb

2) I also wasn’t allowed to take pics at the bridal salon but i found some online ( the dress was not one of my choices from internet searches the consultant showed it too me based on my ideas) the pics online look really unflattering on the model so  it made it hard to envision me in my dress or recall how it looked on me 

3) My dress has a champagne sash i fell in love with but then forgot about ( i.e. back to not having my dress with me) so when i selected my wedding colors thats when the regret/anxiety kicked in i wasn’t sure the colors complimented the dress or if they even were supposed too…

4) After being told that most dresses are ivory and not white then having to deal with the groom/groomsmens ivory vs. white shirt debacule and fears of my dress looking dingy didn’t help

 Plus being on Wedding bee and seeing so many designers and so many dresses with diffrent styles just makes me second guess it alot…

The dress recently just came in and my fitting isn’t until August which is 1 month before the wedding now … so here we go with more waiting…I guess for me its that I haven’t had time to fall in love with my dress…

I’m hoping when i see it again and get it home I will be ok ….One month with no money left does not allow me much wiggle room for dress regret….All in all I think if  i would have had my ability to purchase my dress ,take it home in a short period of time say a month , and possibly return or exchange it  if needed, It would have made me less prone to anxiety/ possible regret….IMO

Post # 6
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ItsPronounced_ABear:  Looking back, the day I picked out my original dress was so much fun.  I had my mom, my FMIL, my MOH, my FSIL and another Bridesmaid with me.  It was like a little road trip, because I was hunting down this one dress (wasn’t the one I picked) and I actually kept saying, I”m not leaving here with a dress today,” because I wanted more time to look.

I was really surprised how uncomfortable I was in all the dresses I was trying on.  I was trying on a lot of tulle gowns and they were big, itchy, HOT and I was not really comfortable in most of them, especially when I tried sitting in them.

Then, one of my BMs picked a satin gown off the rack for me to try.  It was the first satin one I had tried and it was very pretty, different from all the other dresses I’d been trying and COMFORTABLE.  I was not itching to get out of it and everyone said I stood up so much taller, and looked regal.

I think ANY satin dress at that point would have been the one I picked.  The experience definitely helped me identify that I liked satin, for sure over tulle, but I have doubts that the one I chose is the right one for me.  I’m hot and cold on the neckline (crumb catcher), I wanted a fuller gown, so I have to try it with a hoop skirt when the dress comes in and in general, I don’t feel sexy in it.  It is regal for sure, but I don’t think regal was what I was going for. 

Post # 8
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

it was the inbility to take a picture of the dress until after i purschased it. for most part when i look in the mirror i like the way i look, but its always different in pictures. i saw the pictures and it made me regret my decission.

i understand the policy – not wanting to copy – but all these dresses having photos online and it you wanted you still could get a copy dress. not letting take a picture, seems unreasonable.

Post # 9
Member
7982 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly I think the main thing for me was my weight at the time. I feel like I sort of settled for the dress that looked “the best” because some of the other styles just weren’t flattering on me. Losing 45 lbs opens up the options a bit…

Post # 10
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ItsPronounced_ABear:  and finally… While yes, I did “like” the dress, I’m very budget-conscious, and when the consultant told me that the dress was on clearance for $150, I said, well for that price, it’s good enough! <— this for me. Also though, I was so smitten with how different it was from everything else, and the sparkles, that I wasn’t thinking of some of the important things. In particular, it’s huge and heavy and I’m going to sweat like a football player in it, and find myself wondering if I should have gone with a lighter material.

The other thing that doesn’t help – being addicted to the dress board and seeing sooooo many beautiful gowns!

Post # 11
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was pressured into buying one quickly (a bit unnecessarily, I now realize). And I got overwhelmed and chose the first one that I felt a bit comfortable in. But when I saw the pictures of myself in it, I was very sad because it wasn’t what I had hoped for. So I’m making some alterations to it in hopes of loving it more.

Post # 12
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ItsPronounced_ABear:  All of this!! Went way to early, was in the moment and didn’t try enough styles on.

I made a huge mistake by asking my fiance what pictures of wedding dresses on the models he liked and bought the one he loved. He didn’t like lace as much as me and I wanted him to love my dress but a few weeks after buying my dress I thought, screw that!! I should love MY wedding dress. He will love me in whatever I wear, even if it was a paper bag.

Also, the wedding bee has so many beautiful dress ranging way out of my budget but I still fall inlove with so many dresses on here. Damn the wedding bee!!!!!!!!

Post # 13
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

1. It was the only dress I could find in the silhouette and color (nude) I wanted. My options were extremely limited. I have looked (and still look) through thousands of dresses online.

2. After watching every single episode of Say Yes to the Dress, the ONLY dress I EVER liked on the show was a J’Aton Couture gown that cost $17,000, about 3 times my entire wedding budget. So I felt like I just gave in when I saw my dress because it was “good enough.”

3. I saw my dress and bought it immediately. I never got to have a real “shopping” experience, which I always thought would be the most fun part!

Post # 14
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Oh dress regret….I know what this is. Here’s my rant about this.

I think the mistake I made was I was convinced I would find my dress in one day…and when the day came I was determined to find my dress in one day. I really had no reason to rush. My wedding is in December and I went shopping in April. I made three appointments in one day and loved four dress, but then I tried on this beautiful lace mermaid with silver threading and beading all over it. I thought I was in love. I thought it was magic. I put down the deposit. The next morning I woke up and I realized I bought my dress without thinking of walking down the aisle. I realized I had bought a dress that I thought fit my mom’s vision of what I should wear. The more I thought about it the more I couldn’t see myself getting married in it… I felt sick. How did I let this happen?

After two days, I wasn’t able to shake the feeling so I went back to the salon. I tried on a gown that I had decided was too plain and the train too long on the shopping day. It was all lace roses with a scalloped hem and a scoop neckline and it had a jeweled belt and matching bolero. The sales lady was kind enough to let me switch my deposit, but she had me sleep on it. I woke up so excited to call them and tell them I want the less blinged out more traditional lace dress.

I can’t say that the regret has gone though. I am crazy for pinterest and I constantly see these beautiful lace gowns with scalloped sweatheart necklines and v backs and I feel I messed up. I keep having to remind myself that I don’t like showing off my chest. I tried on 30 dresses in one day and not one of the ones I loved was a true sweatheart, but it looks lovely on that bride so I get all worried.

I think the hardest thing is how long you have to wait between trying on the sample gown and actually picking up your dress. In this time, you see countless other gowns on TV and the internet that you love, but that may not look right on you. I start to obsess about the details. This dress has this…mine doesn’t. This dress has that…mine doesn’t. Is it romantic enough? Is it vintage enough? AHHH!

I am also notorious for putting new clothes on immediately after purchasing them. I can’t do that with my wedding dress, so all I can do is wait and over think EVERYTHING about my dress.

That’s my dress regret rant.

Post # 15
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I bought the wrong one the first time and knew it. It was a mixture between pressure from the saleslady and my mom and grandma tearing up over it. However, it was not what I envisioned myself in, so 3 days later I got the right dress. I should have listened to my gut all along. 

Post # 16
Member
8888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I wish there was a reason for my dress regret, but all I can say is I fell in love with a second dress. My first dress was beautiful and I was just so excited to find one that I felt beautiful in. I bought it last August. Then early this year I saw the AA Disney Cinderella gown and couldn’t stop thinking about it. I was at the point where I was making myself sick wondering if I should try it on. I’m glad I did because there was no other feeling in the world like when I put it on 🙂

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