To those who have a honeyfund Are you doing a bridal shower as well?

posted 6 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
947 posts
Busy bee

 I think a lot of the time honeyfunds are an alternative for people who don’t want to bother with buying a physical item. They both serve the same purpose so you don’t need to spend money on both– whether you give to the honeyfund or buy from the registry, you’re still giving her a gift, if that makes sense, so I’d just pick one or the other.

Post # 3
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Pick one or the other. Think of it like registering at two different stores: you don’t need to buy something from each store, right?

Buy something you can afford off the registry, or put the money towards a honeyfund and get her a card with a nice handwritten note for the actual shower. 

Post # 4
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island

I’d assume the honeyfund is the equivalent of registering at a 2nd store… there should be no expectation that you’d both buy a gift and contribute to her honeyfund…….

I’ve “purchased an experience” off a honeyfund for a bridal shower and simply showed up with a card, a picture of the winery they were planning on going to, and a letter saying ‘enjoy your trip – i hope to see pictures when you get back!’

Alternatively, if you’d like to bring a physical present, go for it as you would any other shower with any other registry.

Post # 5
45534 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To me, the honeyfund replaces physical wedding gifts. Shower gifts are separate, samaller and less expensive.

Post # 6
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I think either one is fine… I mean to expect all 3 is crazy to me I am sure they will be happy with either gift… as far as leaving money on the honeyfund or actual shower gift purchase. 

Post # 7
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My friend has small registries at Amazon and another store, and a honeyfund. I got her a kitchen item from Amazon for her shower, and I’ll probably do a honeyfund donation or a different gift for the wedding.

Post # 10
5145 posts
Bee Keeper

vikingbride89 : I guess for me I only think of buying just one gift for everything but that’s just me.

Post # 11
434 posts
Helper bee

Its weird to have a honeyfund and shower. Your basically asking for money at 2 events then which is very selfish. I find a tough time believing someone cant find enough items for a real registry.

Post # 12
8640 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m not a fan of honeyfund. Traditionally a honeymoon is a lifestyle choice and the exclusive responsibility of the couple. In addition, it is essentially the same thing as registering for $$$. Disclaimer is that some etiquette  sources do approve it now. Opinions are divided.

In any case, the guideline is to figure out the total amount you want to spend and divide it between one bigger wedding gift and no more than one smaller pre-wedding gift giving event or occasion.

A shower is supposed to be about modest, practical, and tangible gifts, so I would either shop her regular registry or go off registry on your own for that. 

I’d save any monetary gift, including Honeyfund if you are so inclined, for the wedding. Personally, I’m happy to write a check if that is common in the couple’s circles, but IMO it’s a faux pas to ask or suggest it, which is exactly what HF does. In addition, it saves the couple the cut taken by these funds. 

Her two registries are meant as options though. Of course you don’t need to contribute through both or either for that matter. 

Post # 14
715 posts
Busy bee

It doesn’t mean you have to give double gifts, it just gives you a different option for what type of gift you want to give. I would just pick the amount you want to spend on the wedding and split it between the shower and the wedding, however you want to spend it/split it. Personally I’d probably get a small gift for the shower which is more intimate so you can share the experience of opening it etc. and then put a bit of money toward the honeyfund for the wedding. 

I understand why people do honeyfunds. So many more people have already lived on their own and/or together as a couple for a good deal of time before getting married, so they don’t need to be ‘set up’ in the same way. We live in a one bedroom and we already have too much, and we don’t want to get anything bigger any time soon. 

Post # 15
715 posts
Busy bee

(we’re not actually having a honeyfund ourselves, I just understand why people do) 

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