(Closed) To those who say they are not attached to their maiden name…

posted 9 years ago in Names
Post # 3
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I just don’t like my last name. 

-People always mispell it, which is incredibly annoying, esp. considering it is only 4 letters long

-If you change one letter, it turns into an easy insult/embarassing nickname (I learned this in elementary school!)

-I don’t feel it represents my heritage at all – it’s a German name and I was raised Irish-Catholic

-I barely even know my Dad’s family, who all share this name

-It sounds awkward and weird with my first name because there’s two R’s really close to one another

Post # 4
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’m not sure if i am attached to mine or not.  I really like being who I am, but I am also super excited to be Mrs. W.  I guess the way I feel is that I like being S.P., and I’m not looking forward to being S.W., but I CAN’T WAIT to be Mrs. W.  Does that make sense?  I think part of me will be a little sad to be dropping my maiden name, but I also know it will make FH really happy.

Post # 5
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I don’t know if it’s an attachment or the fact that I have always wanted to take my future husband’s name.  I am sure it will get more harry now that I own my business, I may professionally use my maiden name, but I doubt if that will be a problem because luckily my business is named separately from my personal name.  I can understand how and why women who have built a solid reputation have an attachment, for me it’s just a name, and I’d much rather have M’s last name, I like it better lol!!!

Post # 6
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think I’m unattached to my maiden name. It’s more that I always wanted to have the same name as my husband. It’s going to be hard giving it up – but I hate double barrels and realistically my maiden name is hard enough for people to pronounce now without it being double barrelled. 

Of course, that being said, I do plan on keeping my maiden name in a professional capacity so I guess I get the best of both worlds.

Post # 7
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

For me its a simple matter of numbers. My last name has 9 letters and is a piece of furniture. My FIs has 4 letters and no association other than that of a name. It was easy. Sad? Maybe. True? Yes.

Post # 8
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Well, for me, my maiden name was my dad’s last name, and my dad walked out on our family when I was little. The very rare occasions he tried to come back into our lives, he was drunk and emotionally abusive. So yeah, I had no attachment to my maiden name whatsoever.

Although, I’m also the kind of person where a name is a name. It doesn’t define me or my personality or what I stand for. I changed my name, and I’m the same person I was the day before I filled out the paperwork and got a new license. I also wasn’t known professionally by a name (like a lawyer or doctor or realtor can be, for example). Had my dad been a wonderful part of my life, I still would have changed it. I like the feeling of a family unit, and in all honesty, I hate my maiden name because of how it’s pronounced. It’s very unusual and easy to make jokes about it. But I do not at all judge women who decide to keep their name. We all have that choice, which is awesome.

Post # 9
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i definitely like my last name and am attached to it… like you said, it is and has been my identity for the last 27 years. However, being the romantic mush that I am, there is something very special about taking my FI’s last name and becoming our own little Mr. & Mrs. “Z”. My Fiance really appreciates that i am taking his last name too.

(i should add that his last name is harder to spell and sooooo much longer than my maiden name.. i will miss my last name no doubt about it! )

Post # 10
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I couldn’t wait to be free of my last name. I have very painful associations with it on account of some family issues. I wanted a fresh start with a last name I can be proud of.

Post # 11
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t know if it’s that I’m unattached but like others said I want to have the same last name as my husband.  Plus my maiden name was sort of unusual and no one could spell it or say it correctly the first time which is frustrating because you say it the way it is written!

Post # 12
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

For me it’s just a name and I’ve always looked forward to taking my husbands name.  At heart I will always be a (maiden name).  However, I am going from a name no one has to a name that everyone has!  But at least I have a unique first name.  Probably the only way I would not have taken my husbands name is if his last was the same as my first.

Post # 13
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

i am definitely attached to my name, and have grown moreso over the years.  however, i intend to change my name.  my mom didn’t really go by my dad’s name, and as a child, it was frustrating that people always called her the wrong name.  ever since i was little, i vowed to change my name!  several months (about a year into our engagement – now 14 down and 6 to go) i hesitated.  name changing is very symbolic and i couldnt fathom “leaving” my family and “joining” his.  however, now i see it as us becoming a family together, and sharing a name that our kids will share too. plus, i intend for this to be my name by name for the rest of my life, so soon enough i’m sure it will be no big deal!

Post # 14
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I will miss my last name simply because it’s the last name I’ve always had and it’s my parents/siblings last name. Other than that good riddance. It’s a horrible last name that I get picked on for, people always ask me to spell it even though it is spelled just like it sounds but people don’t want to be rude and assume my name is actually what it sounds like. I’m excited to take Mr.M’s lovely and not embarrassing last name.

Post # 15
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Man, I just wish getting married meant that you get to change your FIRST name…

Post # 16
30 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think like most of the other answers, it’s complicated for me. I have a difficult last name – one that causes people to pause and often make an unwelcome comment. My mother also kept her maiden name and, frankly, I found that confusing as a little kid and my sensitive temperament made me worry that I didn’t “belong” to her because we had different last names. Therefore, it was never a question for me that I would change my name once I got married. But…I got married 6 weeks ago and am suddenly dragging my feet. I got over my maiden name embarassment several years ago. It seemed like I woke up one day at 24 and just didn’t care what other people thought anymore. I love my husband’s last name, but my name represents a group of people who are currently struggling for basic civil rights, and while I am not part of said group, there’s a part of me that likes supporting them through my name. Also, I’ve published several professional papers under my maiden name and would hate to lose the association if I changed. Finally, I am about to receive my MD and since I am the first doctor in my family, there’s a point of pride in being “Dr. So-and-so.” I think it sends a good message to patients – that one can be happy and tolerant at the same time. (Okay, have I given enough hints about what my last name actually is?)

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