(Closed) To Toss or Not To Toss?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Did You Do The Toss?


    No- completely removed this

    No- did something else instead

  • Post # 31
    2165 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I was the first person in my circle of friends/age group to get married, so we kept the tosses in our wedding reception. If we would of been a bit older and had more married couples present, I think we would skip it, but it was fun for us to do due to our age at the time of our marriage. 

    Post # 32
    10274 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016


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    monsterly: Nope, no intentions to wear one. I think it would bug me all night. 

    Post # 33
    10306 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

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    monsterly:  I’m down!

    Post # 34
    54 posts
    Worker bee

    We skipped it. My suggestion if you are going to do it is to do the garter toss first. I have been to weddings where they do the bouquet first and the guys won’t go out for the garter because of who caught the bouquet. 

    Post # 35
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    We didn’t toss instead we presented his mom and my aunt with throw away bouquets.  

    Post # 36
    2521 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I didn’t toss anything, and neither have any of the weddings I’ve been to lately.  Little kids think it is fun, but anyone over the age of 15 usually just finds it humiliating.  I think stopping the dancing to toss something really just puts a damper on the party atmosphere. 

    Post # 37
    253 posts
    Helper bee

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    ucsadie:  We aren’t skipping it but because our friends aren’t married. Also, for us it’s fun and nobody has complained about it at you’re weddings, or family functions. Everyone actually looks forward to it. However, we on the other hand removed the speeches, nobody listens to them and the guests get bored.

    Post # 38
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    With my first marriage I had given my bouquet to a guy who was married, and he called his wife out and gave her a lovely speech in front of everyone (it happened to be her birthday)


    As a spin-off, why dont you do the bouquet toss for the MARRIED MEN? then have them present it to their wife and give her a sweet speech?

    Post # 39
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I did bouquet only as I had a good group of singles.  3 were really trying hard which made a cute pic and my teen niece flew through the air and snatched it.  We also had an anniversary dance as I think it is sweet and had no other special dances aside from our first dance

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Profile Photokwbride2015.
    Post # 40
    969 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

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    vee1980:  Cute idea!

    And even though, OP, you don’t think it’s tacky–well, maybe it’s not really, but I always hated it as a guest and wouldn’t participate the last few weddings I went to as a single.  It feels like “here–let’s make all the single people feel singled out and awkward.  They must be desperate to catch a bouquet or garter…because surely they don’t want to be single and they can’t wait for their own wedding”  lol.  probably unfair self-consciousness on my side, but that’s what it seems like.  Plus growing up watching America’s funniest home videos probably made me wary! hehehe! So we totally skipped it at our wedding.

    Post # 41
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: Church

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    ucsadie:  I’m skipping the bouquet and garter tosses for basically the same reasons. Just isn’t something I want to do. I always felt uncomfortable when it was time for the bride to throw her bouquet and I had to stand up for a chance to catch it.  I didn’t have to but it was a lot of pressure to participate from the other single ladies. Being extremely shy didn’t help either. I know, a lot of weddings do the bouquet and garter tosses and that’s cool. It’s all what you feel comfortable with. Follow your heart and skip if you want to. 

    Post # 42
    2097 posts
    Buzzing bee

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    ucsadie:  I had no intention of the garter toss… But I guess I thought I’d probably do the bouquet toss. But I didn’t care about it enough to plan into the official schedule the DOC had. At one point my cousin, a Bridesmaid or Best Man, came while I was in the photo booth and asked if I wanted to do the bouquet toss, but I said  “not now!” as I was having way too much fun and didn’t want to stop. So it didn’t happen which was totally fine. And now that you mention it I only had a few single ladies, so it was for the best.

    Post # 43
    2667 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I’m skipping it. I’ve never really liked the whole bouquet/garter toss thing so knew from the very beginning that neither were things we would be doing.

    Post # 44
    2196 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    OP I know this is a couple of weeks old now and you’ve probably made your decision but I would just advise that whatever you do, know your audience. I think the anniversary dance is so sweet but for our guests we’d had two recent break ups, one get back together and someone who had recently lost their wife. So I think an anniversary dance would have been a bit too emotionally fraught for our guests. Plus my grandparents aren’t in a position where they could dance but they’re the longest married couple in the room. Another reason people sometimes sway from the anniversary dance is if some of their guests are in same sex relationships and their partnership hasn’t been recognised and might not feel comfortable getting up and dancing. They might also be sat down rather soon (depending on if or when they got married) despite being together for many, many years.

    I’ve always hated the bouquet toss. The last wedding (other than ours) we went to was my BILs and they did the bouquet toss. We were engaged at the time and people still tried to get me to go up on the dance floor. I flat out refused and informed everyone my skills were better used at the bar but it didn’t stop them from trying to bully me up there.

    I ended up giving my bouquet to my grandparents, they had been married the longest and we got married on their anniversary weekend. We both gave a speech thanking everyone for coming and then we said something about being inspired by the marriages in the room, we’d witnessed the couples test out their vows in recent years and felt thankful to them. We knew we would need a lot of love and hard work to make it through these years ahead and maybe even a pinch of luck. What better as a lucky charm than my grandparents who at midnight would celebrate 57 years of marriage and so we wanted to give my bouquet in thanks for them being our lucky charm.

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