- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I was slightly shocked last week to hear FH bring up the subject of kids. That’s never how it happens in the movies… it’s usually the chick who brings it up, and the guy runs away in terror, wringing his hands… lol.
Anyway, his bringing up the subject was actually a result of our age difference. Now, a hundred years ago or so, this would be fine. He’s the guy who’s been out and established in the world, and would be set up just fine to have a wife and kids to support. Most of the time it isn’t a big deal to us. But he basically pointed out the fact that while I’m 29, and my clock isn’t ticking extremely loudly, he’s 47, and his clock is. He said that if we want to have kids, we should probably try to within the next couple of years, if we’re going to. Based on the average expected lifespan of people in his family, he may or may not live to see a child through college if we started TTC right now. (My family, on the other hand, never die. My great grandmother made it to 104. If I get depressed with life when I get old, I’m just screwed, because I’m going to live forever!) From what I’ve read, sometimes the older the guy gets, the more… shall we say, “special” his swimmers can become.
So basically right now, it’s a time thing, and it’s more him than me. But of course, I’d like him to be involved.
Unfortunately, a couple weeks ago he was told he’s being laid off from his job of 7 years (tomorrow is his last day). While he’s going to try to do some side work and get unemployment while looking for something new, he also has no illusions that he’ll get an awesome job anytime soon in the current market. So that’s one serious issue to consider–we have no idea what our finances will be like for the forseeable future. I’m not looking for solutions to that in this thread, just pointing it out. We’re currently budgeting with the amount he expects to get from unemployment, what he thinks he can take out of savings, and anything else is just a bonus.
Along with his job will go what little insurance we have for anything other than vehicles and the house. We don’t live beyond our means, and there’s not much we can cut from the budget. Insurance will be a bit more costly than we’re comfortable with on what income we may or may not have. The only insurance I was on was through an accident policy from his job. It does cover pregnancy, and I believe we’ll have it at least through the end of the month. Not sure if we’re going to keep that or not (we’re currently still reeling from the news, and still have yet to figure absolutely everything out). So, for all intents and purposes, I’m assuming we’ll be without insurance in a few weeks.
There’s also the issue, which is probably half in my head, that we have absolutely no support network in our area since his company moved us here. We don’t have many aquaintances, no real friends, and no family within the entire time zone. Not that it’s crucial, but it’s a nicer feeling to know you can call on someone locally for help if you need it, and without whipping out the checkbook for it. We did speak with our realtor recently, and due to how much we’d loose on the house, moving is really not an option unless we start starving as a result.
Realistically, a child is a child, and if I were to get pregnant, I know we’d go all the way with it. But I’m on the pill for now, just got off Depo last month. Right now we do have the option of deciding if we want kids or not, rather than just being suprized one way or the other. Unfortunately, it’s just bad timing right now. However, if FH wants to be as much of a dad as he can, it may be the only timing we have.
Obviously, I’ll be having a discussion with him when things calm down a bit from the job situation. But do you ladies have anything to add?