Post # 1
I was in a wedding recently. I hated the dress, hated it. I’m not a tiny girl (5’4 about 170 and a pear – this girl has back) but I can easily find clothes that make me look and feel good.
The bride chose a dress that the other girls liked (and it looked really good on them) and I went with it because I didn’t have to pay for it and I didn’t want to be difficult but I knew it would be awful on me.
Well…I felt like a whale.
The bride posted pictures today and she has tagged me in many of them – and she loves them. I hate them. I think I look terrible, they’re unflattering and make me feel incredibly unattractive (generally I’m a pretty confident person).
Do I untag the pictures and risk upsetting the bride/having her ask why I untagged the picture or do I suck it up and leave them there?
I realize this is silly and I’m probably over thinking this…
**EDIT – part of the reason I hesitate to remove the tag is that there are very few pictures of the bride and I online and I hate that. There are very few pictures of us period. We’ve been friends for 10+ years but haven’t lived in the same place for 8+ of those years.
Post # 2
You should use the setting where you have to approve all tags before they post publicly. But I would also untag if you don’t want the pictures to show on your page.
Post # 3
Untag. No reason to be haunted by pictures that bring you down.
Post # 4
chasesgirl: I do have that setting. I went through and I approved them for now – she didn’t tag them all. Some are worse than others. One that she’s marked as her favourite (i’m talking her down from a meltdown) I feel like I look about 100 pounds heavier than I am.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Does it even alert her if she removes the tag? She might not even notice.
If you have mutual friends, they’re going to see the photos and recognize you in them anyways.
People know as a bridesmaid you don’t have much say in the dress.
Post # 6
Un-tag them! She’ll be so excited to finally have them back and up on her own profile / too distracted by her friends likes and comments on them that she will not even notice. Don’t sweat it!
Post # 7
Honestly I would keep them tagged. People are going to see the pictures anyway because she posted them. I don’t think in tagging should cause drama but it might.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2015 - City, State
I voted untag because that’s what I would do!
Post # 9
amberback: there was one bridesmaid who was apparently INCREDIBLY vocal and difficult about the dress and I didn’t want to cause additional stress to an already stressed bride. She knew I wasn’t a fan but I told her I didn’t care. I wasn’t paying for it so I’d wear what she wanted (If I’d had to pay I probably would have been a little more particular – they were almost $300)
Post # 10
I believe everyone is entitled to control over their own image online. There could be a million reasons why someone would not want a tagged photo posted. For one thing, sharing your information becomes dependent to some degree on her privacy settings, not yours. Or maybe you have mutual friends who would be hurt to see evidence of a party to which they were not invited. I would just untag. She is not notified and would only notice if she looks closely at the tag list again.
If she does ask, I would not tell her you didn’t like how you looked since that’s a reflection of her taste.
Post # 11
Don’t untag them but remove them from your timeline. This way you keep your tag but if someone goes onto your profile they won’t see them
Post # 12
Its your Facebook.. You control what goes on there. If you’re uncomfortable, who cares if she gets upset, she’s the one acting a fool over Facebook. The picture aren’t being deleted from her account, just from your timeline.
Post # 13
I agree with Kelly6871 (: Just remove them from your timeline and leave the tag. That way no one will be able to see them on your profile. That’s usually what I do. Sometimes I do remove a tag though if I don’t want to be identified in a picture and I don’t think anyone has really noticed. I think either option would work in your situation.
Post # 14
MsGinkgo: I’m always a big fan of untagging a photo that I don’t want tagged of me. It’s annoying enough having people upload horrendous photo of me and then tag me in it, so their friends and my friends can see it? No. That’s why I usually just don’t take photos with people.
Post # 15
Personally, I would try to focus on the joy and love and fun of the day and not on how you look in the dress. Why do you think the bride likes the picture of you talking her down from a meltdown? Is it because she happens to look like Heidi Klum in that picture? Or is it because it captured a moment that was important to her and that showcased what an amazing friend that you? I would try to see that in the picture. And I’d leave the tags.