To use the grandmother’s ring…yay or nay?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you wear a free family ring as an engagement ring?
    If my family member had great taste, of course I would! : (59 votes)
    88 %
    I would prefer a new ring, even if I liked the available family ring. : (7 votes)
    10 %
    Rings? Who needs them! : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee

    @wanttobemrsb: If it’s a ring that you adore and can see yourself wearing for the rest of your life, then who cares how much it cost? It’s your SO’s love for you that makes him want to marry you, not the couple thousand dollars society feels he needs to spend. Instead use the money towards the wedding or honeymoon, and be happy you get to honor both your SO and grandmother with this ring. 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    9483 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’d be honored to be chosen to wear the ring.

    Post # 5
    Member
    665 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My grandmother actually gave me her ring! Unfortunately she gave it to me when my Fiance had already purchased my e-ring. I’m kinda torn at the moment but we’ll see how things go.

    And if you like it why not?

    Post # 6
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @wanttobemrsb:I think a guy should pay for an engagement ring. It’s a sign that he’s serious about you enough to spend thousands on you.

    Asking you to spend the rest of your life with him isn’t serious? Planning on spending thousands on the wedding and honeymoon and a house and a life isn’t enough?

    If you have a beautiful meaningful available ring to not take it because it didn’t cost your Fiance an arm and a leg is ridiculous.

    Post # 7
    Member
    14481 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    “It’s a sign that he’s serious about you enough to spend thousands on you.”

    That’s the problem with engagement rings as ‘rewards’ or status symbols.  Yes, he may love you enough to spend thousands on you, but on the flip, just cause you spent thousands, doesnt mean he loves you or the marriage will last.  I know plenty of people with 10k-20k rings who broke off the engagement or got divorced.

    I *wish* I had a diamond or ring I like enough to use as my e-ring, I would have loved to save the money. It’s not being cheap, its being financially smart not to throw away thousands to “prove” something if dont have to…. and he shouldnt have to spend thousands to prove his love to you in the first place.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Well, my husband must not be serious about me, then, because we chose not to have an engagement ring at all.

    I’m sorry, but that logic is ridiculous. So how do you prove your seriousness about him? Why is it only one way?  And since when is love something that only money can demonstrate?

    Post # 9
    Member
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I have my great-grandmother’s wedding ring, it’s actually what I wear every day as my right hand ring. I suggested to my Darling Husband that it be my engagement ring, he wanted me to have omething of my own, but honestly I wear the other ring every day because it means just as much to me. I would have loved to have worn my great-grandma’s ring as my own engagement ring. Obviously I’m happy with what I have–but just so you know, I think it’s important to not put a price tag on it, it’s all about the meaning behind the proposal.

    Congratulations though!!!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1498 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @kala_way and @pinkshoes hit the nail on the head. Don’t be ridiculous. The cost of the ring means absolutely nothing about how much he loves you or how serious he is about you.

    Post # 11
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I have my grandma’s ring, and I’m SO happy I do. At first I wasn’t sure about it because I was drawn to the tacori-type rings. My fiancé (boyfriend at the time) talked about it a lot and who should make the decision. I kind of felt like it was up to him, since this was something he was giving me to represent the promise of our future together. And he wanted to make sure I’d be happy in the end. Ultimately we decided together to take it. And he told me later when he proposed that the first day i got it and tried it on, as soon as he saw it on my finger he ew it belonged there.

     

    It is amazingly special to me and in no way is his commitment any less because he only had to spend $100 to resize it. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3587 posts
    Sugar bee

    I see nothing wrong with the ring. I have to agree with a regular oster, just because a man spends thousands on a ring, doesn’t mean he’s anymore serious than a man who doesn’t. Some men make good money and a $10k ring is just a drop in the hat to them, nothing more than a regular vacation they take each year. The cost of the ring will also not make a difference in your relationship. Some men finance rings, would you rather he finance a $10k to “prove” he can afford it? To me, affording it is buying it outright.

    @pinkshoes:That’s the problem with engagement rings as ‘rewards’ or status symbols.  Yes, he may love you enough to spend thousands on you, but on the flip, just cause you spent thousands, doesnt mean he loves you or the marriage will last.  I know plenty of people with 10k-20k rings who broke off the engagement or got divorced.

    I agree!

    Post # 13
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee

    I was really torn because my Fiance wanted to use the diamond from him mom’s engagement ring, but I have a ring that has been in the family for about 100 years. I would have been happy to get my family one from him, but he wanted to use the one that was from his family, since he wanted it to be a symbol of me joining the *his last name* family. I would rather wear a family ring than a ring bought fresh from the store because it has more sentimental value! Plus, you can put that money towards something else, like the wedding or honeymoon, or a house which to me is more of a symbol of committment than a ring!

    Post # 14
    Member
    7405 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Sadly, your logic about caring=financial costs is prevelant in the minds of lots of women. The OP was honest enough to say it. I hope that you will come to see that it is a flawed concept. If you Groomsmen ring means something to you and you like the style, ofcourse you should pick it.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @pinkshoes: SERIOUSLY. money doesn’t equal love. It’d be ridiculous to turn this down for such a, TBH, stupid reason.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1314 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If you love the ring, and it’s being offered to you to use as an e-ring, that’s great! I wish I had a ring with a history like that! It also isn’t about how much your man is willing to spend on a ring, or if he gives you a ring at all, it’s about the act of him saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. My ring didn’t cost much, my financially hard-headed Fiance would NEVER drop thousands on a ring, but the gesture of him asking me to spend the rest of my life with him, well you just can’t put a price on that!

    Leave a comment


    Find Amazing Vendors