Post # 1
I was at my parents’ house tonight and of course asked my parents to open the safe, which has my grandmother’s ring in it. I like to pull it out and put it on the finger and look at it. Weird I know. I’ve told the Boyfriend or Best Friend that the diamond in the ring is available to him; he just needs to buy the setting. But now…
I seriously wore it for a half hour and it was definitely growing on me. I’ve always liked it. To be honest, I’ve never been set on a particular style or the size of a diamond. Now, I’ve been looking at this ring like it’s the ONE.
However, I think a guy should pay for an engagement ring. It’s a sign that he’s serious about you enough to spend thousands on you. When my sister got engaged with our other grandmother’s ring, I hemmed and hawed that he didn’t cough up his own money to buy her a new ring. Turns out, my sister is just sentimental, not cheap.
My boyfriend won’t have that kind of money for a while or even enough to throw into a fund. I also want to be unique and it seems like all my friends have a big diamond slapped on a plain white gold band. This ring is unique and definitely different. It doesn’t look generic at all. I’m also seduced by the word FREE.
It also came from my favorite grandmother, the one grandparent who I really connected with and miss very much. It would be nice to honor her.
I’m at a loss. Boyfriend or Best Friend and I plan to have a huge talk about the future in January (long story on why it’s January) and I don’t want to tell him of any decisions before then. What do you all think? I would post a picture of it but my phone is a POS. Plus, my parents would’ve thought I went off the deep end.
Post # 3
@wanttobemrsb: If it’s a ring that you adore and can see yourself wearing for the rest of your life, then who cares how much it cost? It’s your SO’s love for you that makes him want to marry you, not the couple thousand dollars society feels he needs to spend. Instead use the money towards the wedding or honeymoon, and be happy you get to honor both your SO and grandmother with this ring. 🙂
Post # 4
I’d be honored to be chosen to wear the ring.
Post # 5
My grandmother actually gave me her ring! Unfortunately she gave it to me when my Fiance had already purchased my e-ring. I’m kinda torn at the moment but we’ll see how things go.
And if you like it why not?
Post # 6
@wanttobemrsb:I think a guy should pay for an engagement ring. It’s a sign that he’s serious about you enough to spend thousands on you.
Asking you to spend the rest of your life with him isn’t serious? Planning on spending thousands on the wedding and honeymoon and a house and a life isn’t enough?
If you have a beautiful meaningful available ring to not take it because it didn’t cost your Fiance an arm and a leg is ridiculous.
Post # 7
“It’s a sign that he’s serious about you enough to spend thousands on you.”
That’s the problem with engagement rings as ‘rewards’ or status symbols. Yes, he may love you enough to spend thousands on you, but on the flip, just cause you spent thousands, doesnt mean he loves you or the marriage will last. I know plenty of people with 10k-20k rings who broke off the engagement or got divorced.
I *wish* I had a diamond or ring I like enough to use as my e-ring, I would have loved to save the money. It’s not being cheap, its being financially smart not to throw away thousands to “prove” something if dont have to…. and he shouldnt have to spend thousands to prove his love to you in the first place.
Post # 8
Well, my husband must not be serious about me, then, because we chose not to have an engagement ring at all.
I’m sorry, but that logic is ridiculous. So how do you prove your seriousness about him? Why is it only one way? And since when is love something that only money can demonstrate?
Post # 9
I have my great-grandmother’s wedding ring, it’s actually what I wear every day as my right hand ring. I suggested to my Darling Husband that it be my engagement ring, he wanted me to have omething of my own, but honestly I wear the other ring every day because it means just as much to me. I would have loved to have worn my great-grandma’s ring as my own engagement ring. Obviously I’m happy with what I have–but just so you know, I think it’s important to not put a price tag on it, it’s all about the meaning behind the proposal.
Post # 10
@kala_way and @pinkshoes hit the nail on the head. Don’t be ridiculous. The cost of the ring means absolutely nothing about how much he loves you or how serious he is about you.
Post # 11
I have my grandma’s ring, and I’m SO happy I do. At first I wasn’t sure about it because I was drawn to the tacori-type rings. My fiancé (boyfriend at the time) talked about it a lot and who should make the decision. I kind of felt like it was up to him, since this was something he was giving me to represent the promise of our future together. And he wanted to make sure I’d be happy in the end. Ultimately we decided together to take it. And he told me later when he proposed that the first day i got it and tried it on, as soon as he saw it on my finger he ew it belonged there.
It is amazingly special to me and in no way is his commitment any less because he only had to spend $100 to resize it.
Post # 12
I see nothing wrong with the ring. I have to agree with a regular oster, just because a man spends thousands on a ring, doesn’t mean he’s anymore serious than a man who doesn’t. Some men make good money and a $10k ring is just a drop in the hat to them, nothing more than a regular vacation they take each year. The cost of the ring will also not make a difference in your relationship. Some men finance rings, would you rather he finance a $10k to “prove” he can afford it? To me, affording it is buying it outright.
@pinkshoes:That’s the problem with engagement rings as ‘rewards’ or status symbols. Yes, he may love you enough to spend thousands on you, but on the flip, just cause you spent thousands, doesnt mean he loves you or the marriage will last. I know plenty of people with 10k-20k rings who broke off the engagement or got divorced.
Post # 13
I was really torn because my Fiance wanted to use the diamond from him mom’s engagement ring, but I have a ring that has been in the family for about 100 years. I would have been happy to get my family one from him, but he wanted to use the one that was from his family, since he wanted it to be a symbol of me joining the *his last name* family. I would rather wear a family ring than a ring bought fresh from the store because it has more sentimental value! Plus, you can put that money towards something else, like the wedding or honeymoon, or a house which to me is more of a symbol of committment than a ring!
Post # 14
Sadly, your logic about caring=financial costs is prevelant in the minds of lots of women. The OP was honest enough to say it. I hope that you will come to see that it is a flawed concept. If you Groomsmen ring means something to you and you like the style, ofcourse you should pick it.
Post # 15
@pinkshoes: SERIOUSLY. money doesn’t equal love. It’d be ridiculous to turn this down for such a, TBH, stupid reason.
Post # 16
If you love the ring, and it’s being offered to you to use as an e-ring, that’s great! I wish I had a ring with a history like that! It also isn’t about how much your man is willing to spend on a ring, or if he gives you a ring at all, it’s about the act of him saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. My ring didn’t cost much, my financially hard-headed Fiance would NEVER drop thousands on a ring, but the gesture of him asking me to spend the rest of my life with him, well you just can’t put a price on that!