Post # 1
My guy and I have been dating for over a year and I know a proposal is coming. How? He showed me the diamond last night. So beautiful! So perfect! So big!!
I never wanted to be one of those girls that starts planning the wedding before the proposal. I wanted it to be completely official before I dig in on my completely DIY wedding.
He and I talked about a September wedding and that feels really right. If we don’t do it this coming September the next option is March. That is SO far away! Over a year! When I think about how many months from now that is it makes me sad.
So, the question is, should I wait to start planning until he asks, which is probably going to be after Valentine’s day (but who knows how long after!) or go ahead and start now?
Post # 3
Which is more important to you? Not being a preplanner or having the september date?
Post # 4
If you’ve both decided on a September wedding, I’d just go ahead and starting planning. Although, since you said March is also on the table, I wouldn’t put any money down on anything until after the proposal.
Or, you could just have a chat with you SO and be like “If we want a September wedding, I really need to start booking the big things now. Is it okay if I start planning before the engagement is official?”. Since you’ve both talked about a date already, I don’t see why he’d have a problem with it.
Post # 5
i found out about my proposal a week before it happened – stupid me – before that i had an idea but i wasnt sure…i didnt start planning but i did look around. A LOT!
i say its never to early to begin looking – i obviously wouldnt book anything without talking to SO but… researching, getting pricing stuff like that can easily be done prior to jumping into actually planning the wedding.
Post # 6
I agree with PP, I would start now.
I had a similar instance: My Fiance and I were looking at rings together, awhile before he proposed. One morning he asked, “what’s your ring size, again?” and I knew…It was coming!
I was so excited I went and told my mom, and she winked and said ‘oh…maybe!’ which gave me the hunch that it was in the works. So I knew I wanted a July wedding (this was last September), and I didn’t want to have to wait either. So I went for it and started lurking on WB, and got the concept together. I didn’t go ahead and start booking vendors until after he proposed, though!
Post # 7
Hm. I have started doing some pricing.
In you ladies’ experience, do you think 7ish months is enough time to plan a wedding?
Post # 8
Honestly I think it’s plenty of time! Depending on where you live, it might be tight for vendors. My best friend planned her wedding in 7 months, and it was beautiful!
Post # 9
Start looking around and get an idea of what you want. I think that takes the most time anyway! After you have your “vision” down, then booking stuff will be easy! I vote to start envisioning now! You know the ring is coming!
Post # 10
I say wait. I dont think you should jump the gun! You dont want to break your own heart in case SOMETHING/ANYTHING/THE INEVITABLE happens! Just stick to your own judgement, you just said you didnt want to be a pre-planner.
When he asks, if the date is available, then it was meant to be! Patience is Golden, shoot I waited 7 years! And I didnt ask for a long engagement but since we were paying for this wedding on our own, we gave ourselves a longer engagement to save up!
Post # 11
Thanks all for chiming in. I had been doing a little presearch already… and two Sundays ago he opened a box with a big, ol’ shiny diamond inside it. No, not a proposal, but he was so excited to get the diamond that he wanted to show it to me.
Since then, he’s asked about wedding colors, etc. I told him that I wasn’t planning anything yet. He said he thought I was.
So, I guess I’ll just keep presearching but not make anything official until he asks. 🙂 I feel good about that.
Post # 12
I had wanted to wait until he proposed, but I had no other option than to start ahead. I have ordered my dress, but know that he won’t propose until Valentine’s Day. All-in-all it’s comforting to know that we will be married sooner, and that I have some things ‘done and ready’ It helps that he’s planning the wedding with me though, I wouldn’t do it without him.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t do anything unless you’re A) willing to tell everybody you’re doing it, or B) don’t care about their opinions.
I pre-planned a little bit – no deposits or anything, but I had a lot of inspiration and ideas for venues that I’d contacted about availability for our lovely fall wedding.
Once we were officially engaged, that pretty much got crapped all over by my husband’s parents, and we changed to July. I just think once it’s official and personalities get involved, things can change.
Post # 14
LadyS, I don’t want to go dress shopping until I go home to Texas and can do it with my family (Ma’, Gra’ma, and my sisters). And my guy has told me he doesn’t really want to be involved, which I can’t say I’m too surprised to hear. I’m very organized and a planner by nature, so he knows I can take care of it all. On the other hand, he does have opinions and if I ask for one, he’ll answer. And I’ve already warned him that some of my ideas ask for him to do some work that involve power tools and torches. He said he’s totally fine with that. 🙂
Sapp, I haven’t put any money anywhere yet. Since we’re most likely paying for the wedding ourselves and neither of our families are very involved in our lives (we both live far from home), I don’t expect any outside opinions. I guess I should brace myself for that though.
I know he won’t ask before Valentine’s Day. I don’t believe he’s found a band yet, but I’m trying not to ask so whenever it happens it will be a surprise, even though I know it’s coming.