Post # 1
Ok, so this is my "second time around" Wedding. Long story short: I went through some major physical, emotional and mental changes at 18 (who isn’t sometimes though) then quickly (8 months) got married to a fella that didn’t work out in the end. My family seems to think he is wonderful and I ended up moving away, and falling in love with my high school sweetie.
So, my Mom pipes up and asks "when are you going to ask your Father to walk you down the aisle?" uhhh…. Being that I am divorced and out of the folks home for so long and all, I thought it would be bad form to have my Dad walk me down the aisle and "give me away". And I kind of don’t want it, I have made it through a lot on my own I think I can manage another 20ish feet down the aisle.
Now is this totally selfish/rude/inconsiderate towards my parents?
Post # 3
I think you should do what speaks to your heart.
No one understands the dynamics of family as much you do with your own.
I don’t think it is uncommon for some brides to walk down the aisle alone. But will this cause undue conflict in the end? Is there anyone else you would be honored to have you walk down the aisle? What if your dad walked you half way and he takes a seat at the aisle where your mom is at, and then someone else walks you the rest of the way- or you walk the rest of the aisle on your own? Kind of symbolic to how he was there for you during one part of your life- and the last part was all you?
Post # 4
I agree with Sparkles that you should do what feels right to you.
However, I would suggest that you may want to sit down and have an honest and open discussion with your dad if you decide not to ask him to walk you down the aisle. I didn’t expect my father to care one way or another, but it turned out to be something he was very sensitive about.
One of my sisters initially wanted to walk herself down the aisle, but after talking to our dad and realizing how important it was to him, she came up with a compromise. Her ceremony location had a big staircase, and she walked down the stairs by herself, and then our dad met her at the bottom of the stairs and walked her the rest of the way.
Post # 5
Definitely do what works for you, but do take into consideration how your parents feel. If it’s something you feel strongly about, talk with your parents and share your side. If you don’t mind too much, it may be a good way to be gracious. I was all set to walk alone as well, but it turns out my mom wanted to walk me. We compromised – she met me at the start of the aisle and we walked up together. With all the rush of the day, it was actually a very nice moment to meet up with my mom and have a few moments walking with her. That said, you know your situation and feelings the best. Good luck!
Post # 6
I agree with Linzella and Sparkles and love the suggestions by Missm.
Communication is key. I am a encore bride as you are going to be. And I would love to be able to speak to my father again. He’s been gone now for 9 years. I know you’re a fiercely independent woman but see their side and know he must love you very much. Try to look past things and see their love.
Talk through this to him. You see, in his eyes you’re always his princess, his little girl. And he probably loves you and lets face it..parents will always be parents and they don’t care if you divorced before or not. I would give anything to have my father be able to walk me down the aisle again. Or to be able to have that special time to just sit down and talk to him about such a happy day.
I especially love the way Linzella’s sister walked halfway down the aisle and then her dad met her for the rest of the way. That is a beautiful idea.
Post # 7
If you reframe it as someone escorting you (the same ways bridesmaids are often escorted by groomsmen) then it can be quite sweet to have your dad/parents escort you. The "giving away" notion is a bit dated, and I don’t think walking down the aisle together needs to mean that!
Post # 8
Only you can decide what’s right for you, but to give you another idea: I’m Jewish, and in Jewish weddings, both the bride and groom are escorted down the aisle by both of their parents. It’s not a "giving away" thing, but more a show of support for their child and the marriage. Maybe it’s a possibility in your case?