(Closed) To Wedding or Not to Wedding.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1425 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t really know what to say, but I’m sorry you’re going through this. And, in all honesty, I’d probably just elope if I was in your situation.  You want to remember the day you got married as a happy one, not one that you will resent, and it sounds like you’re already there. If that means a beach, your Fiance, you and your daughter then so be it!  As long as it makes YOU and your Fiance happy!

All the best and I hope things turn around for you!

Post # 4
5669 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

In reading your story I really feel like I was reading a story from one of my friends. This was almost her exact situation. The had a ceremony at city hall so they could have their child and went to dinner with any family who wanted to support them and then they went on their honeymoon and had an actual ceremony. They debated for a while and are very happy they went this route.

Sorry this has happened to you, but with a baby and still trying to finish college you could save money and stres and just elope with the one you love. Hope it all works out for you.

Post # 6
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

So your Fiance will not help you with wedding expenses?

Do what you and your FI want. Don’t kiss his family’s behind, especially if they are not offering to help.

Post # 7
196 posts
Blushing bee

I would elope.  It sounds like the only person who wants anything near a formal wedding (formal meaning not an elopment in this case) is the groom, but he can’t/won’t take on responsibility for it.  I’d let him know what you want and are willing to plan (the elopement) and ask him what he wants and is willing to do.  (It has to be both, if he wants a formal wedding, he has to be willing to do the work for it.)  Ask him what he’d like included in the elopement (a particular place, meal, etc.) and go from there.

Post # 9
48 posts
  • Wedding: February 2012 - Patrick C. Haley Mansion, Joliet, IL

I get that your Fiance doens’t like making decisions, but he’s got to help make this decision. The decision about a wedding and everything after can’t be made by just you.

I’m glad to hear you haven’t confronted his family about the change. You can’t/shouldn’t do that until you know where your Fiance stands on the situation.

I’m also glad that the one thing you know for sure is that you are going to make this work one way or another. I’m proud of you for keeping your eye on what’s really important: a lifetime with a man you love.

Post # 11
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I did something pretty similar. I am pretty much estranged from my family, so basically it would have been like we were hosting a wedding for DH’s family and friends, and a couple of my friends.  We had a nice ceremony in a beautiful location, stayed two nights there, ($500 with wedding and two nights) and then went on a Carnival Cruise for our honeymoon.  

It was lovely. I have NO regrets! 

See the waterfall in the background? 

Good look! Please keep us posted! 

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