(Closed) Toasts

posted 11 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
2029 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think you should let people know beforehand that you would like them to make a toast. You could tell them that theier frienship has meant a lot to you and that a toast from them would make your day even nicer. Unless the person is painfully shy I don’t think it would be considered tacky at all to ask them nicely. You can also ask them to give you a copy of the toast afterwards for your scrap book.

Post # 4
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I actually would not recommend letting random people make toasts – it can go quite badly, especially if you’re having an open bar.  We have asked a few people (my sister, FI’s brother, and FI’s best friend) if they would like to give a toast, and they all said they would love to.  We may also ask my dad, but are debating about how many toasts are too many…  Normally you have the best man toast, and nowadays often the Maid/Matron of Honor as well, but it’s good to have a conversation about it with them ahead of time so that they understand it’s expected, and also to give them a chance to decline if they are not so much into public speaking.

Post # 5
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree with Suzanno about not letting random people toast. Case in point (though I am sure no one wants to hear horror stories). My parents renewed their vows and actually HAD approved and asked who would give toasts. But my godfather for some unknown random reason stepped up to the mic and ruined what should have been a sweet humorous/memorable moment by saying nothing appropriate for the occasion. You could hear a pin drop afterwards. I did not adequately know what to do- nor did anyone else because ppl let him rant. To this day it is a family disappointment.

After my engagement, nearly the first thing my mother did was send this to me from The Knot: Ten biggest Mistakes Guests make; #7

<h3>Giving Unexpected Toasts</h3>

What they did: Weddings can be emotional events, and the toasts are an opportunity for your closest friends and family to share sentiments with the rest of your guests. Those same emotions (and maybe too much alcohol) can do funny things to any otherwise reliable guest, and some may feel compelled to grab the mic when they weren’t asked to toast. Embarrassing stories, offensive anecdotes, and rambling rants have all worked their way into wedding toasts.

How to deal: Unfortunately, you need to just grin and bear it. If the toast seems like it will never end, have the best man signal the band or DJ to carefully cut in. The other guests will appreciate the gesture too.

Stop the cycle: Head off unexpected toasts by making sure the emcee of the evening (your DJ or bandleader) has a list of approved toasters. Tell them not to give the mic to anyone who’s not scheduled to speak, no matter how persistent their plea for the microphone.

My friends who have gotten married this year, asked their closest buddies, maid of honor, siblings etc to prepare something. If you tell people in advance they have time to mentally prepare, practice and to edit as time goes on.

I hoped that helps. Good luck!

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