Post # 1
Hey guys. So a couple of weeks ago I started a thread asking if I’m the only one who gets the birthday blues…I explained a few reasons why I was feeling down about my birthday this year and since then things have got me feeling worse.
Now here I am on my birthday and I get a text from one of my ::supposedly best friends:: that says something like “happy birthday from me & ::insert name of other supposed best friend::” and for some reason it really made me feel like crap. I know they are out together, I know they didn’t even bother inviting me, and I personally think it’s kinda lame that I get a birthday wish in a text message from the both of them. It’s probably hard to understand why this is so bothersome but in the other thread I explained that these friends (and not only them but a few more in the group) make the biggest deals about each other’s birthdays but when it comes to mine it’s like a little passing glance. They never even so much as ASK what my plans are, or ask how I’m celebrating, which is unheard of when it comes to dealing with each other. They also always buy each other lavish gifts: really nice shoes, purses, makeup, and I give them great gifts as well. But when it comes to my birthday, last year was the only time they ever got me a dang thing and it was one pair of pajamas from the whole group…yeah a $20 pair of pajamas split between four people while they individually got each other mad gifts for their respective bdays. IDK I guess this probably sounds like a whine fest. But it’s hard to feel appreciated in a group of friends when you feel like you’re the black sheep who doesn’t get treated the same.
And I guess to add a little bit of insult to injury, this whole weekend has been pretty horrible. Friday I found out that FI’s friend and his gf were talking trash and had caused a bunch of awkwardness between Future Mother-In-Law and myself as a result…and I’m supposed to be going on a road trip with all of these people this week (started a thread about this as well.) Yesterday the car cut off on me. Then I got my hair done as a treat to myself and after growing my hair to the middle of my back, the ends weren’t in the best shape so I got a cut and I feel like I just lost a lot of progress! Now today I’m sitting here feeling like crap. Fiance isn’t here to love on me bc we’re LDR, my parents took a vacation and they’re 1000 miles away, I’m PMSing. It’s like everything is going wrong. Waaaahhh! LOL I probably sound like a baby…
Post # 3
@Galang_Gyal: Vent, cry, kick, scream, do whatever it takes on days like these (we all have them). It sucks that your friends aren’t so great about your birthday, but that doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to something nice. Unfortunately, it seems like bad luck doesn’t ever come in small doses, but I’m really hoping that next week is much better for you. Plus you can always come on WB to get a little love and vent your heart out. Happy Birthday *HUGS*
Post # 4
You need some new friends!!!! Stop investing in these other girls. I’m not saying stop being friends with them….. You can totally stay friends with them, but if you have other friends too you won’t rely on them. 🙂 …
Just get new BETTER friends. 1 GOOD friend is better than 10 shitty ones.
Post # 5
@housebee: Thank you for the bday wish! I did have a good cry this morning which made me feel a lot better. I also decided whenever those gloomy feelings start trying to seep into my head I’m going to focus on all the blessings I do have instead of what has gone wrong. It’s already really changed my disposition!
@S2013: You are 1000% right! I’ve already pulled back from these girls and over the last 2 years I’ve definitely grown apart from them. But in terms of birthdays I always tried to make sure I was there for them. I don’t know if I will make it such a priority in the future considering how lame they’ve been for the past several years. Plus I’m moving to be with Fiance several states away after our wedding so I can see myself pulling away even more as a result of all these factors. Still love and care about them, but I deserve more.
Post # 6
@Galang_Gyal: Right there with you! I absolutely DREAD my birthday every year and it is usually the most depressing day of the year for me. I have the same issues with my “friends” — they are always better friends with eachother than they are with me. They have extravagant bday plans that I feel entitled to go to and buy them something, but when it comes to mine, its a hassle to even get them to come out or even CALL me.
I am so sorry you are having a bad week and crappy birthday. I really hope things get better for you… It helps me to think that itll be over in less then 24 hours…. 🙂
Post # 7
I’m so sorry! You definitely deserve to treat yourself! Happy Birthday!
Post # 8
@Galang_Gyal: Happy Birthday!
I don’t think you are wrong to feel that way. I won’t bore you with details but when I was in college I was friends with girls who were very much like this (although they were always very generous w/gifts in the beginning, I must say). But for everyone else’s birthday, especially theirs, it would be let’s do a trip, let’s go on a cruise, let’s do this. I asked them to come out for dinner and they wouldn’t have the money – for a burger, at a Friendlys. Okay…
Somewhat one sided friendships are hard and you may eventually, like me, decide you are better off without them. You don’t deserve to have friends that treat you less than wonderful. You deserve friends who respect you, want you to be happy, and are genuine. I didn’t read your other threads, so I don’t want to speak out of place, but it doesn’t sound like they are as considerate of your feelings as you are of theirs. And from experience, that is their loss.
I wish you a happy birthday. Treat yourself to things that make you happy. And in time, think about getting out there in new social settings and making some new girlfriends who let you shine.
Post # 9
@xskittles: Man friends like this are so messed up. I don’t get it!
@olybride: Thank u 🙂
@KLC216: Yeah it’s crazy how one sided some relationships can be! I agree that they aren’t as considerate as I am toward them!
Thank you everyone for the bday wishes, kind words, and advice! I believe I’m going to be cutting ties from these girls as it’s been a long time coming. I will still be cordial when they reach out, because i don’t like burning bridges. But as far as going out of my way for them in the future heck to the no.