(Closed) Today is one of those difficult days not being engaged.

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Tacos…just…I hear ya.  You are not alone.  🙂 

I hear you also about the Valentines’ Day struggle.  I love the romantic dates MNbf and I share on V-Day, but other than the time I spend with him, I’m kind of dreading its approach.  If V-Day was anything like this past Christmas, with friends and family by the dozens calling me up to ask me if I was engaged yet and me having to say no and feel embarrassed — SPARE ME.

Is anyone else in that particular boat? 

Post # 18
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@mngf–Yep, definitely.

It has come to the point where on a weekly basis, when me and my sorority sisters go out, they grab my hand to “check” my ring finger…umm I would tell you duh!

Im really starting to feel pathetic lol

Post # 19
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Tacos, don’t worry and believe me I *feel* you!  Mr. Tiger had me waiting for months – and I mean five months – before I got my e ring.  And this is also after him talking about having a wedding in summer of 2010.

Here’s my personal story surrounding my e ring:

My Fiance (Mr. Tiger) and I went on a trip to St Martin last spring and we were looking at jewelry bc it’s a duty free zone and we thought, might as well check out the bling and see if I like anything (not an e ring).  While searching I found the most gorgeous sapphire I had seen in a long time – emerald cut and so dark and deep blue.  My father’s family is in the jewelry business so I like to think some of his knowledge has rubbed off on me and I could tell it was a great quality stone.  I was staring at it in wonder when Mr. Tiger snapped me back to this world and out of la-la land.  We left the store without any jewelry but it’s sometimes nice to taste without eating…bad way of putting it but you get the idea.

Fast forward three months when Mr. Tiger gets a call from his brother who announces he proposed to a girl he had been dating for only three of four months!  Mr. Tiger was super duper offended bc he’s the oldest son and by tradition, he should marry frist. 

So months go by – I meet Mother Tiger and Mr. Tiger meets Mother Pearl (finally) after a year plus of dating and after living together for 8 months.  We talked about marriage and weddings and when we wanted to get married.  He was vague but kept saying summer of 2010.  Well, Christmas rolled around and then NYE but no e ring.  But he kept on insisting we keep planning our wedding and I was getting sort of frustrated bc buddy, weddings take time to plan.  And then, last weekend, out of the blue, Mr. Tiger proposed.  And this is after *months* of us chatting about our wedding – we even made a guest list about four months before our engagement!!. 

He bought me that very same ring and setting I admired back in St Martin in the spring of 2009.  This is the kicker, he bought it back in August 2009 (2 1/2 months after our trip) but was trying to find the right time – he wanted to meet my mother first before proposing and wanted me to meet his brother living abroad whom I met before NYE.  

Tacos, he could be planning and wishing and hoping and is just waiting for the right time.  Listen to the other ladies, don’t pressure him and this isn’t an indicator of the strength of your relationship.  He loves you and you should enjoy this time in your relationship!  Take it easy and don’t put so much pressure on yourself to get engaged, either.  Things happen on their own time.

 

Post # 20
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It does sound like he has rational reasons to be waiting – I wouldn’t want to get engaged to someone who hasn’t met my parents yet.  (By the time he did meet them, we’d already decided to move in together which made the meeting all the more stressful… fortunately they really like him AND moved in together themselves very quickly, so it was ok…. but nerve wracking.)

Maybe your dad doesn’t actually know what to do with the sink (quite possible, even if he’s generally handy, since he hasn’t ever seen it firsthand) and is trying to evade responsibility. I know people put a lot of emphasis on getting engaged, but not having taken that formal step doesn’t mean your relationship is any less serious or important in his eyes.

Relax and enjoy being with him, enjoy what your relationship is now and the anticipation of what will come later.  Don’t push him, and don’t get down on yourself.  It sounds like he’s waiting for particular reasons, they make sense, and he’s not waffling because he’s not sure he wants to be with you.  So enjoy being with him now, especially for Valentine’s Day.

Post # 21
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Dont worry.  u are really dwelling too much on the  ” not being engaged” factor.  It happens to alot of us.  But what  you need to do is concentrate on your relationship with mr. tacos.  Destress, pamper yourself, and just don’t bum your self out with negative thoughts.  Believe me I’ve been where u are.  Waiting 4 the ring. I even secretly had a timeline. U know that thought of “if he doesn’t propose by this date, I’m out.”   In the end my day came and so will yours.

Post # 22
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I second the other posters’ comments about following (very deliberately and consciously) Mr.Bee’s plan of attack.

Have you read it?  It’s DEAD ON! I wish I had gotten and taken that advice while I was waiting for a proposal….for 5.5 years!! P.S. AFter that we had a 2 year engagement!!!!

Believe, all good things are worth the wait!

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