(Closed) Today was supposed to be my wedding day…

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
46677 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

smad11:  You are a wise woman. Wishing you all the best.

Post # 3
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

<3 thanks for sharing. you’re a very strong woman and i admire you for making the right choice. 

Post # 4
2685 posts
Sugar bee

You’re a very strong person and it sounds like you made the right decision.  I’m sure that it’s hard to avoid thinking about what could have been today, but now you have the self-awareness and ability to focus on what you truly want.  So, go get it and don’t look back.  You can do it!

Post # 5
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

This was beautifully written.

I ended a 3.5 year relationship last summer for similar reasons. We weren’t yet engaged but it was probably coming soon, and though I had wanted that with him for a time, I didn’t anymore and my gut was telling me something was wrong and we’d gone in different directions.

I am more happy now than I ever have been and though it was one of the hardest things i’ve ever done, everyday I’m glad that I did it.

You’re amazing for being true to yourself and having the strength to do it. <3 hugs

Post # 6
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Good for you. I ignored all those red flags and married “that guy”. We were together for 17 years and I was miserable for most of it. I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for myself and I got steamrolled. I wish I had your wisdom back then. Best wishes to you for a bright future!

Post # 7
559 posts
Busy bee

smad11:  Please finish this novel ! The first two paragraphs sound quite unputdownable 🙂

Post # 8
6005 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

smad11:  You are SO smart to have figured it out before the wedding. So much harder to get out of later. Good for you!!

Post # 9
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Im glad you’re happy! that’s all that counts! <3

Post # 10
103 posts
Blushing bee


smad11:  I love this post! So many feels.  What you wrote really spoke to me because I went through a very similar experience and I truly stand behind everything that you said.  It’s scary to make such a life changing decision because no one really knows where life is going to take them and it’s really easy to second guess those gut feelings you get when you are unsure about the future with someone.

I know there are so many posts where someone is unsure if they should be with someone and there are those who say “Just leave, walk away”.  That is sometimes always easier said than done.  The amount of time invested into a relationship to can really make you second guess whether leaving is the right thing to do.  Everyone has their faults, their ticks, and sometimes it’s not a matter of finding a “perfect mate” but finding someone that is worth building that relationship and working through the differences. 

I am happy to know that you can look back and know deep down that you made the best decision and there are no regrets, because that is always the fear when you make that decision.

Alot of women can relate to your post, myself included.  Stayed in a 5 year relationship much too long and was too afraid of leaving because I didn’t have enough confidence in myself that I could actually make it on my own.  Isn’t that a sad thing? I honestly thought that I needed someone to help me to make it in life.  When I did leave, I was terrified, I didn’t know how I would do it, I was stressed.  But, that fear passed and I took it day by day.

I think we need to all give ourselves more credit than we actually do.  Myself included. 

Post # 11
10393 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

This should be required reading.  Glad you did the right thing for you. It frustrates me to see all the women who hang on to dysfunctional or mediocre relationships. Your future husband and children will thank you. 

Post # 12
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I had a very similar experience as this one. 8 years ago I was engaged to be married, the wedding was barreling down twowards me and with a month to go before the wedding, I called it off. It was unbeliavably hard as Andrew was an amazing man who clearly adored me. I just didn’t love him the way he deserved. I never should have accepted his proposal, but I did and I regretted it almost instantly.

I am so glad I called it off because it helped me realize who was right in front of me and who I belonged with. My now Fiance had been in my life since we were children and a year after I broke it off with Andrew, my now Fiance and I began dating.

Post # 13
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Great post. Thanks for sharing. I wish everyone had to attend a course that gives this kind if advice before walking down the aisle. It takes lots of courage to walk away, even when deep down you know it’s for the best. 

Post # 14
2290 posts
Buzzing bee

Thank you for writing this post. 

There are so many ladies on this board, and ladies who will show up later, who need to hear this message and take it to heart. 

Post # 15
1246 posts
Bumble bee

Love this post! I wish I had listened to my gut like yourself. Granted, then I probably wouldnt’ be where I am with SO right now. I don’t regret getting married for this reason but if I had read a post like this back then, it may have saved me some extremely difficult times.

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