(Closed) todays our 3 yr anny (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

sorry you feel crappy 🙁 if it makes you feel any better i waited 5 years before i lost my composure and gave him an ultimatum lol

Post # 5
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

just look him in the face and say “what’s the deal?”

 

that’s what I did in February, got married 4 weeks ago.

Post # 6
Member
9 posts
Newbee

Do you guys ever mention marriage at all? Or does he say things about the future and include you in it? 

Post # 7
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Have you actually talked about marriage before? Maybe he’s just not ready, mentally I sure as hell wasn’t, and I still find it a little freaky to be engaged. Great things may be happening in life in regard to jobs, money, etc., but making yourself mentally ready is a whole other thing. To me, marriage was… whatever. It if happened, cool. If not, cool. I was going to have a life with my honey regardless of my tax status.

I told my fiance earlier this year that maybe getting married wasn’t such an awful idea and he proposed in May. I’m 31 and will be 32 when we get married. I’m still in no hurry. Maybe he’s waiting until the cars are paid off, two car payments would drive me bonkers! Smile

Post # 9
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Have you told him all of this?  Do you know what he thinks about marriage or the situation?  Honestly at a 31 you should know by 2 years whether this is someone you would spend your life with or not.  If he really doesn’t know and you’ve discussed it…well, that would be a serious red flag to me.  So I understand how you are feeling.

Post # 10
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Oh well, I just read what you posted.  Does he know how serious this is for you?  I would tell him you need this or you will have to leave.  Assuming not being married would be a dealbreaker for you.  Some people are content just to never marry.

Post # 11
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

3 years is a long time. Some guys don’t see calendar dates or realize that they’re dragging their feet. Darling Husband had no idea that I was feeling sad that he hadn’t proposed. I felt like it meant he didn’t like me as much as he should, etc, etc.

Maybe sit him down and ask for a timeline! But for some guys ultimatums don’t work.

Post # 12
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

This has nothing to do with you being good enough, so stop it, men and women are in touch with different things and approach life alterning choices very differently.  Women are a living, walking, talking monument to change, we embrace it, chase it, and celebrate it as progress and a tribute to the very essence of life…men hide from it, fear it, resent it and eventually face it, usually holding the hand of the great woman next to them….it’s just how things are…that being said, you are the element that will bring about this change in your collective lives, be vocal yet kind, enthused yet demure and firm but gentle…he’ll get with the program very quickly.

Post # 13
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Maybe he’s planning on proposing on a random day that has no current significance. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. are too obvious!

Post # 14
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@Nona99:  Seriously, you always have the best advice.

Post # 15
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nona99:  +1!  Awesome advice and so true.

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