(Closed) Together for 6 years, he's had the ring for about 4-5 years and yet nothing…

posted 8 months ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
737 posts
Busy bee

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echomomm :  I’m not sure threatening to leave someone by telling them you need the “protection” marriage provides or you’ll leave is going to want to make them ask to marry you. Probably just scare the shit out of him so he’s even more against marriage in fact.

Post # 19
Member
7169 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Also, did you think you were putting your foot down by saying, “Either by 2023 or 2024…”? If you feel like this now why would you give him several more years to pull it together, OP? That makes no sense at all.

Post # 20
Member
737 posts
Busy bee

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friday001133 :  Honestly, he doesn’t want to get married. Since you mention he has a negative view of marriages he may simply be philosophically opposed to it. Thats his right so long as he doesn’t lie about it. Even tho you should have talked about this sooner there’s nothing you can do about that know.

Now you need to ask yourself, do you want to throw away the relationship and family situation with young children because you want to be married and weren’t really clear about that from the start? Because you will be, this wil” change everything for you and him (as you know), but also for your children.

Post # 22
Member
13656 posts
Honey Beekeeper

2023 or 2024?! It should be more like now or never. The ring sitting for years in the truck is a disrespectful slap in the face. I would not be afraid to let him know how hurt you are and that you will no longer be conducting business as usual.  I’d also tell him you really don’t care about anything but being married and that the ship has sailed long ago for elaborate proposals. 

If, by the time the courthouses are doing marriage ceremonies again, he is still dragging his feet, he will have  a choice to make. Not making one at all is a decision. 

Post # 23
Member
5133 posts
Bee Keeper

When I read threads like this I want to scream. OP why did you think it was a good idea to have two children with someone who doesn’t want to marry you? Why do you value yourself so little?

Post # 24
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee

Ditch this guy who is never gonna marry you, do some soul searching, and gain some self respect for yourself and for the sake of your kids. 

ETA: also, who tf hides valuables, especially jewelry, in their car??? That sounds irresponsible as hell. 

Post # 25
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee

 I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to get married.

You already are.

Post # 26
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

If I were you I would schedule a date at the court house to get married, tell him the date and time and tell him to show up with the ring. Get him a ring on amazon for him. Then just do it. He either shows up and puts his money where his mouth is, or he doesn’t show and you decide if you want to be in married forever or leave. But you’ll have your answer. 

Post # 27
Member
571 posts
Busy bee

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friday001133 :  when I read you were only 27 I thought “good this girl has a lot of time ahead of her to find a great man.”

having kids makes it more difficult, but his lack of proposal means he doesn’t want marriage. You have 6 years together and 2 kids. Don’t bother, you’ll just force it.

Post # 28
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee

He doesn’t want to marry you. A 29 year old man who wants to get married, does.  A 29 year old man who owns a ring and has two kids with his girlfriend, proposes. The only reason that makes any sense as to why he hasn’t proposed yet is that he does not want to marry you. Stop making excuses for him about his family. Stop making excuses for yourself and saying you’ll wait 4 more years. 

He’s fine with you being his baby mama but doesn’t think you’re good enough to be his wife.  I don’t know why you haven’t walked already. Respect yourself.  

Post # 29
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Don’t pay attention to what he says. Pay attention to what he does–or, rather, doesn’t do.

Post # 30
Member
2131 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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sunburn :  THIS.

Especially if you’re the marriage type which OP clearly is! 

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