(Closed) Together for 6 years, he's had the ring for about 4-5 years and yet nothing…

posted 8 months ago in Waiting
Post # 62
Member
5125 posts
Bee Keeper

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friday001133 :  Bite him in the butt? Au contraire, I think his procrastination has worked out very well for him. For you, not so much.

Post # 63
Member
1393 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

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friday001133 :  Bee, your partner knows exactly what he wants, and it isn’t marriage. Men are very clear about what they want, their actions show more than anything he could ever say to you. He wanted to have kids, he made that happen. If he wanted to get married he would have made that happen too. 

Look, you consented to this relationship every moment you stayed with him despite the fact that he didn’t marry you. You were complicit in this relationship every holiday you listed that passed for 4+ years without a proposal. If it was really that important to you, you would have walked away long before you EVER CONSIDERED having children with this person. Obviously it’s not that huge of a deal, because you have now built a life with this person who won’t marry you. You now have your childrens’ lives to think about. Why is marriage NOW so important to you at this point that you’d be willing to uproot them from their home? Again, things probably best considered before the fact. But here we are. 

Post # 64
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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sunburn : agree!

 friday001133 :  “bite him on the butt”? In exactly what way?” He has everything *he* wants, children and a live’in girlfriend to share the bills, his bed, and have his kids…. all with no commitment to you on his part!    *You* are the ONLY one who doesn’t have what you want. No doubt he’s happy you’re so easily manipulated into accepting his excuses….

Post # 65
Member
706 posts
Busy bee

“bite him in the butt” by you making walking deadlines years in the future you have no intention of keeping. Oh no… poor him…

Post # 66
Member
1665 posts
Bumble bee

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friday001133 : The answer you always get is soon?  That means you have proposed to him multiple times and he cannot give you a yes or no. What kind of an answer is soon??  That’s a total blow-off from him, in my opinion.  OP, someone who WANTS to marry you will say yes, no hesitation.  I know this because I proposed to my husband not knowing if he would say yes or no and he immediately said yes, no excuses, no “I need to ask your dad for permission first”, no bullshit!  He has blown you off enough times so it sounds like you will stay with him no matter what.  Are you ok with this??

Post # 67
Member
2029 posts
Buzzing bee

Your own complacency is biting you in the butt, OP. You are the only one hurting here let’s be clear about that 

Post # 68
Member
42 posts
Newbee

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2023 or 2024? So almost doubling the amount of time you have already waited?

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Post # 69
Member
31 posts
Newbee

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peach11 :  Yes! I thought the exact same. Especially the month that listed the Fair! What in the world?! Im sorry bee, but a man that has had a ring for 5 years and done nothing with it does not want to marry you. Everyone I know who blamed no ring on thier partners fear of marriage, saw thier partner get married….to someone else…..   There is someone out there that would kill to marry you! Find them and don’t settle for less!

Post # 71
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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friday001133 :  great, congrats. Given its taken this long be careful it’s not just a shut up ring.  When exactly are you getting married?

Ps Ring pic too plz!

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