Told my mother I was pregnant and…

posted 2 weeks ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee

Of course she stooped to cancer again… and your sister gave her all of the validation and attention she was hoping for, and frankly, expecting. 

I’m so sorry that every bit of news in your family that takes the focus off of your mother leads to her behaving horribly. 

Hugs, and big kudos to you for protecting yourself and your family.  I hope things normalize between you and your sister soon. 

Post # 4
Member
6233 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Sansa85 :  Damn. What a way to turn something that should be a happy and celebratory time for everyone into a cyclone of stress and lies. 

It sounds wise to go NC; you don’t need that kind of upset and bullshit when you’re growing an entirely new person. I hope your sister is able to find ways to insulate herself as best she can until she can get away from your mother, too.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope all goes smoothly and well moving forward. <3

Post # 5
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sansa85 :  oh my god, how horrible! I can’t even imagine how furious I would be in your position. So profoundly manipulative and awful. Sending you big hugs and hoping you can stay as safely away from her as possible.

Post # 8
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Sansa85 :  I’m sorry she made your happy news about her. Sounds like a CO is for the best. Could you just donate any gift that arrives? That way you don’t have to look at it with whatever baggage it carries for you.

Post # 10
Member
4211 posts
Honey bee

You’d think your sister would have learned by now. 18 is old enough to understand lying for attention. So far as no contact, do that or simply tell her nothing about your life. She’ll only use it as a springboard to jump into her own fantasies. 

Post # 11
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Sansa85 :  She might not have sent a gift. It might’ve been a desperate bid to get you to respond.

Probably best if your daughter doesn’t see any gift if one does arrive just in case you don’t end up keeping it.

When I was in the process of cutting off my dad, he would send gifts, cash, checks, etc. I just BH’d everything. I didn’t send anything back. I didn’t cash checks. I did keep the cash. I didn’t do “return to sender” because that’s still a response and any response at all was like a reward to him.

Post # 14
Member
2989 posts
Sugar bee

Sansa85 :  It’s the holiday season, save it and donate it to a toy drive. Or, let your daughter have it and make it a “just because” present. She doesn’t need to know who it’s from. Whatever is the most healthy solution for you. 

Sorry Bee. People can be really hard to deal with sometimes. 

Post # 15
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like you poor sisters are still stuck in your mother’s web while you have escaped.  It probably pleases her immensely that her other daughters are not getting on with you, just to punish you further for you not playing her games. Divide and conquer and all that.

I sincerely hope that eventually your siblings will see what you see. I know it is hard now as you’re angry but do keep in contact with them to some degree as when they finally see the light they are going to need you. 

It’s excellent to hear how far you have come and that you are healing. It is a hard road to be on. Kudos to you.

Congrats on the pregnancy.

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